Even since Connie made a post about going to Red Lobster and eating crab legs dripping in butter I have been wanting to go. So guess where we went for dinner last night? We figured we'd better go before the girls came home, they really do NOT like seafood. Even though they have other stuff there for kids that isn't seafood, I just don't enjoy my crab as much with the girls looking at me telling me how disgusting it looks. lol When we walked in Anthony was sleeping in John's arms. We sat down next to the lobster tank and it didn't take him long to wake up. John showed him the lobsters and Anthony looks and looks. Finally he says, "Oh, those are big bugs!" All night I had to convince him that I wasn't eating bugs. lol He wouldn't even try it and I know he would have liked it because he eats smoked salmon with Bill all the time. We ate way too much and as we were leaving Anthony points to the Red Lobster sign and says..... "Look, Crab Legs!" John tells him that it is Red Lobster and Anthony says, "Oh....Red Monster!" ROFL What a goof.

We went shopping for school supplies last night. The girls are almost home and I was going to wait until they got here but we were in Target and I actually found their school supply list there! You know how they post all of the local school supply lists right in front of all the school stuff? Every year I look for a list for our small town school and every year it is never there. There are lists for every small town in the area but ours is always missing. It was always annoyed me. So, when I saw it there last night I was so excited I just had to shop! ROFL It seems like these lists get longer every year although Brittany didn't seem to need much. She didn't even have crayons on her list! That really bothered me. She is going into 6th grade not high school. I am not ready for crayons to not be on her list! So of course I bought her a box anyway. lol I found an awesome Tony Hawk notebook so I had to buy it for John's nephew. The weird thing on Brittany's list is that she needed 5 bottles of glue! 2 tacky glues, 2 rubber cement jars, and 1 huge glue stick. What in the hell are they going to be doing with all that glue?! Another weird supply is baggies. I had to buy snack size, sandwich size and gallon size bags. This is the third year or so they've been on the list and I STILL have no idea what they use them for. Of course the whole time we are shopping John is loudly muttering that when HE went to school all he needed was one pencil and one notebook. He had all of the mom's laughing. Where were the dad's? I have no idea. There were only mom's there. They must have been smart and left their husband's at home so they didn't have to listen to the same muttering! ROFL

We didn't get to watch the fireworks for the pyrotechnic convention because we had a huge rain storm. They rescheduled it for tonight but guess where I will be? An hour and a half away at the casino on a limo run. Oh well, they usually come every other year so hopefully I'll be able to see it next time.

OMG, that was a long post I made earlier this morning! ROFL I think I was delirious from lack of sleep and kept rambling and rambling! hehe Well, since I'm more awake now, somewhat, here is my Friday Five.

1. Do you have a car?If so, what kind of car is it?
I have a 1995 Chrysler Town & Country Minivan. Wow.....isn't that sexy! ROFL

2. Do you drive very often?
Yeah, mostly hauling the kids around to one thing or another. Although when we go places as a family John always drives.

3. What's your dream car?
A '65 Mustang, although I did once have a '77 Firebird that I loved. I really miss that car. I wouldn't mind having it back.

4. Have you ever received a ticket?
Yep, two of them. Once for speeding plus I was fined for not wearing a seat belt and another time I was driving Bill's truck and got pulled over for having expired tags and although the tags turned out to be in the glove box, I got another fine for not wearing a seat belt. Can you say stupid? Sheesh.

5. Have you ever been in an accident?
Not while I was driving although I was in two accidents with my mom when I was a kid. Once we were driving with a friend of hers and she rear ended somebody, that wasn't too scary but another time my mom was going through an intersection and somebody ran a red light and hit us. Luckily she always drives those great big granny cars, I think it was an LTD, and although there was some damage to the car we were ok. Nobody really wore seat belts then and I remember my head crashing against the frame of the door, luckily the window was all the way rolled down but I had a headache for days. I did once hit a deer though...does that count? The deer ran off but I was driving a crappy astrovan and my radiator cracked along with a few other vital car parts. I felt bad about the deer until I found out how much it was going to cost to fix my van then I was pissed.

I am so so tired. I really have no idea why I am even out of bed. Well, except for I had this horrible dream that something happened to Anthony and he was really hurt and I couldn't get help. The dream in reality was really stupid and could never happen but I woke up with my heart pounding and freaking out because it of course seemed so real! Isn't that the worst? A dream that one of your kids or a loved one has been hurt or has died? I thankfully can't remember many dreams that someone has died but my mom has called me before in tears because she had a dream like that about one of the kids and had to tell me so that I could tell her that the kids are all ok.

Anyway, now I'm awake so I thought I'd write about my very long day yesterday. It actually started at 3am when I finally got home from my casino run the night before. I knew I had to be up by at least 8am because I had an early morning run but of course that made it even harder for me to fall asleep. By the time I fell asleep it was about 4:30 and when John was getting ready for work at 7:30am I jumped out of bed because I thought I was late. Anyway, I was up and ready to face an all day run. It wasn't until we picked them up that I realized it was for the owners of my favorite restaurant. They were treating most of their employees to an entire day of fun. We picked them up at 10am and drove them down to Detroit Lakes where they ate at Zorbas and then we took them to the Otter Tail River so that they could go tubing. I was following Joe (he had the 24pass. coach). When we got to the place where you rent the inner tubes we found out that we had about 3 hours to kill before they were done. So we headed back to Detroit Lakes and sat in Perkins for a few hours while we had lunch and talked.

Guess what? Joe got married last weekend! He met a woman in Canada on the internet and has been going up there often to see her. It was actually only a small ceremony with her family and his children, but it wasn't legal because they have to go through all the paperwork to get permission for her and her children to move here to get legally married. Looking at how happy he was, I guess the legal crap doesn't matter, in his heart he is married and was proudly showing off his gold band. :-) He hasn't really told anyone because he wants to keep it fairly quiet until it is official. But I warned him that I can't keep secrets! lol and besides, you're not gonna tell anyone, right? lol

We finally headed back to the river to pick up our party. At this time it was about 4pm and I was looking forward to my 5:30 drop off because due to lack of sleep and the heat and humidity I was exhausted! And I still had Jessica's 21st Birthday to go to. I figured I'd be home by 6pm in time to shower and have the limo pick me up at 7pm. It was at this point that I heard the owner talking about taking everyone for ice cream. I don't think I mentioned the real fun of tubing down the river. You take coolers and coolers of alcohol and just lazily float down the river getting as intoxicated as possible. I think our group had more coolers than people. They were definitely having fun. So it turns out that I had the owners in my limo plus the employee's that had been with them the longest and they wanted it for the rest of the night. I explained that one of my best friends was having her 21st bday party but that I would do my best to find a driver to take the rest of the run. They were really nice people and having so much fun I didn't want to ruin their party, so I drove until 7:30 taking them bar hopping until another driver showed up to take over. At this point I was tired, hot, stressed and just wanted to go home and go to bed. But of course I couldn't because it was Jessica's birthday!

I don't think I've blogged much about Jessica. She has been best friends with my little brother since they were in 4th grade. I can't even begin to describe their friendship. There is a love between them that is so obvious but they love each other too much to ever date. John thinks they will get married someday, I don't think so but it doesn't matter because she is already like my sister. She is the cutest, sweetest thing, although I guess she can be a bitch if you piss her off, which of course means she fits in well with my family. ROFL Her mom lives down the street from my mom and lately we have all been spending a lot of time together. Her mom was a lifesaver again and again as we planned for the wedding. I'm telling you, if John turns out to be right and someday they get married we will have the perfect inlaws! So we hung out at Granite City where Jessica works and drank with her friends there and had something to eat. Jessica was upset because she hadn't heard from her two sisters. They live out of town and have new babies and husbands and are planning to be here tonight to celebrate but she still felt bad. After hanging out for awhile we headed in the limo over to Playmakers where my friend Dave's band was playing. It always amazes me when I see all of the girls going wild over him. We worked together about 5 years ago and became really good friends. Even after not seeing him very often he waves at me from on stage as soon as he sees me walk in. He is such a sweetie.

Jessica knows him because they work together at Granite City. I of course had to tell him it was Jessica's bday and after she was pretty well plastered he got her up on stage to sing Happy Birthday to her. It was hilarious. She kept putting his hand on her ass and he was so embarrassed he kept moving it. After the song she told him to announce that she was looking for a hottie which he of course did. Half the guys had their hands up in the air yelling and those that didn't probably only didn't because their girlfriends would have killed them! lol One guy jumped up on stage and started dancing with her. It was quite a fun night. I must have danced all night, although most of it was dancing in front of John while he sat in his bar stool because the dance floor was too crowded and everyone was taking their drinks up there and of course spilling them everywhere. I'm surprised no one slipped and cracked their head! lol.....is that the mom in me coming out? hehe At one point Jessica almost made me cry when she was hugging me on the dance floor. She told me that I was the only sister she had that showed up for her birthday. I told her not to feel bad because she is the only sister I have right now. I'm so glad she had such a wonderful birthday. I won't even spoil it by telling you how shitty she felt on the limo ride as we took her home. :-) Hopefully she won't remember that part! ROFL

I finished my ad last night. It's not one of my best ones, but considering I had less than 24hours notice I guess it's not too bad. Today I have just been trying to get some laundry done, seeing as how I won't be home tonight. I am driving a group to the casino and won't be home until 3am and early tomorrow morning I have an all day run driving a bunch of people up to Otter Tail to go tubing. At least I don't have to wear the tux tomorrow because it is supposed to be really, really hot.

I got a letter from Danielle today. They went to the beach over the weekend. She isn't a real beach person, she is afraid of the waves, but she said it was fun. I am so anxious for them to come home, only five more days left! I still haven't bought any school supplies. Hopefully I will have time on Friday.

Well, so much for my boring day. I talked to my mom shortly after I posted last and was told that a limo ad for the Bridal Fantasy's newest publication needs to be finished by tomorrow morning. Of course, nobody thought to tell ME about it, even though I am the person who does the ads! So I have been scrambling for pictures and such but just can't seem to come up with anything I really like. It has to be weddingish and to be honest I must have wedding burnout because I just can't get in the mood! lol So I will probably be at it all night although I think I might go sit outside and listen to the loud, rumbling, boom of the Pyrotechnic Convention taking place not too far from here. I had forgotten it was coming to town. Their shows are beyond awesome. I have to drive tomorrow night and the night after is Jessica's 21st bday party so hopefully we will be able to go to the show on Friday night. Watching from the front porch just isn't the same.

Not much going on today. I have been trying to motivate myself into cleaning out the kids' closets and boxing up clothes/toys they no longer use. My mom had a call from my grandmother and I guess my Uncle Jessie (he is a few weeks younger than me) and his wife and five kids have moved in with her because they have no where else to go. I'm sure they could use the clothes and the toys would hopefully keep them out of my grandma's way. She's not a real kid type grandmother and I'm sure she's driving them nuts. My mom said she would pay for me to ship the stuff to Colorado, so now all I need to do is get it together. Unfortunately, I really can't seem to motiviate myself to do anything. I did find this at LaLa's and figured it would at least fill up empty space. You need to describe each item with a two word phrase:

Your home - Country Chaos
Your car - Minivan Extrordinaire
Your job - Fulltime Mommy
Your Significant Other - Sexy Workaholic
Your Family - Cherished Crazily
Your Friends - Select Few
The Internet - Unbelievably Slow
Television - Cable Free
Books - Escape Routes
Today - Muggy Boredom

Thanks Irma for the book recommendation. :-) I went and bought another Marian Keyes book since I finished "Watermelon" a few days ago and really enjoed it. After dinner, we went out to eat Chinese food with my mom, and then we headed over to Barnes and Noble and I bought two new books, one of them being "Last Chance Saloon". This should keep me busy for at least a few days. lol

Oh, I also cleaned up a few of my inactive blog links. If your blog is no longer listed it's probably because the last link I had for you is no longer working. If you are still blogging and I just didn't catch your new URL please send me an email and I'll be sure to add you. :-)

Yesterday was our "one month" anniversary which of course neither one of us thought about until half way through the day! John did surprise me with breakfast in bed. Isn't he sweet? lol....but of course don't tell him I told you so. hehe We had a very lazy Sunday, we did absolutely nothing. We watched tv, played with Anthony and read. It was really nice especially after my limo run from hell on Saturday!

The people I had were really nice (it was a wedding) but there were too many of them and they were too big! The air suspension in the car gave out halfway to our destination and the drive shaft started dragging. Next thing I knew, the back of the limo was filling up with smoke from all of the friction. I had to have John meet me at the bar where we were going (they were doing a bar hop before their reception) to see if he could fix it. The people were not very happy and I don't blame them. Unfortunately, there was just too much weight in the car. So we had to put one guy in front with me and a few drove with John in our van. These guys were huge, like football player huge and I had 9 guys and the bride. She was very sweet about it, actually they all were nice considering. But I was majorly stressed and was so happy when Nathan came to my rescue (again) and took the late part of the run in our largest limo to make up for it.

Not much going on today. I guess I should get something done considering I didn't do much of anything yesterday. The girls will be home in a week! Which is a good thing because Anthony is driving me nuts asking where his sisters are. Have a great day and Happy Monday!

Well, it's still raining but thankfully I won't have to wash my hair outside because our water is back! Woohoo! l don't think the neighbors would have appreciated listening to me "sing in the shower" LOL

We have water now........rain water that is. It's raining outside but still no water inside. Maybe I should stand outside and wash my hair? ROFL I have to leave in a few hours. Hopefully our water will be back on by then!

We have no water! I have a limo run at 4 o'clock, we have no water and I still need to take a shower!!!! I hate when this happens. One of the draw backs of living in a little town because this has happened way too often. Usually it's not that big of a deal although this does seem to happen right when I'm in a hurry to go somewhere. Hopefully it is just a maintenance thing and they will have it turned back on shortly. My mom is out in the shop washing limo's and I'm sure she's not a happy camper right now!

I was so exhausted yesterday. I only slept about 2 hours before Anthony woke me up. I was supposed to do an airport pickup late last night and almost started crying when my mom called to tell me that instead of picking them up at 11pm, I would have to pick them up at 2am because the flight was delayed. My mom must have heard the panic in my voice when she told me. I was soooo tired at that point, my contacts felt glued to my eyes and I could barely keep them open. Thankfully she got Nathan to do it instead.

So I got a good nights' sleep other than being woken up by Anthony crying in the middle of the night because he fell out of bed. He came running in my room for a kiss and then went back to bed and fell right asleep. lol

Not much else going on this weekend. I never did go school shopping. I'd better do that soon. I usually buy most of their supplies while the girls are gone but I have to wait for them to get home before I buy their clothes because they are both so darn picky I hate to waste money buying them clothes they won't wear. This year I think I am going to skip buying the glittery pencils for Danielle. Last year I found out that the girls in her class were talking her into trading them the glittery pencils for their boring, yellow pencils. So this year they will probably all have the glittery pencils, I bet they won't want to trade now! ROFL

I just got home. I had a last minute limo run to the casino tonight. It takes an hour to get there, a four hour stay and then an hour home. It makes for a very long, boring night. I forgot to take a book to read so I ended up buying a magazine. I lost $10 in the slot machines. Not a very exciting night although I did get a good tip which was nice. Since it's already Friday, I figured I'd do my Friday Five. I can't believe it's already Friday! I can't believe it's already August! Time is flying by way too fast which is good because the girls will be home soon but bad because summer is almost over. They had some really good specials at Wal-Mart on school supplies so I think I will head there tomorrow and stock up on stuff. I love school shopping! If I don't get a chance to post again, have a great weekend!

1. What is your lineage? Where are your ancestors from?
Both of my parents are Mexican-American with Mexican and American-Indian ancestory.

2. Of those countries, which would you most like to visit?
Well, my options are limited so I would have to say Mexico :-)

3. Which would you least like to visit? Why?
Since I don't have any other country to choose from I guess I don't have an answer to this one.

4. Do you do anything during the year to celebrate or recognize your heritage?
We celebrate Cinco de Mayo every year with a pinata for the kids and lots of Mexican food and margaritas. I am very proud of my heritage but being in North Dakota I don't have many options to expose my kids to their heritage.

5. Who were the first ancestors to move to your present country (parents, grandparents, etc)?
On my mother's side my grandfather was working on our family tree for many years before he passed away. From what he researched our family has been in the United States in the California area since it was still Mexico. On my father's side from what I know his great-great-grandparents lived in New Mexico so I'm not sure when they came from Mexico to the United States.

The honeymoon is over. We had way too much fun and it went by way too fast. We did miss Anthony like crazy so it was good to get home. We got home yesterday but didn't do much. We spent the day taking Anthony to the movie and then to the park. Today John is back to work and life goes back to normal. Wisconsin was so much fun, we stood here because it was kind of a center point to everywhere we wanted to go. We spent a day in the Dell's which was incredible, we couldn't believe how much stuff they had to do there! We are already planning to take all of the kids there next summer. This time I take a list though! LOL It was just way too overwhelming with all of the things they have to do there. We are both looking forward to going next year and can't wait for the kids to see it.

I do have to share one of those stupid moments that I swear could only happen to me! John and I were relaxing in our hotel room and I decided to light these cute little candles I had brought along (a gift from Sandy). The lights are already dimmed as I light one, two, three and get to the fourth candle. Suddenly, my thumb feels warm. I look down and the damn thing is on fire! Not my thumb but one of these stupid acrylic nails my mom insisted I get for the wedding. I look at it in shock and then blow it out. The whole tip of my nail is scorched and I feel like a complete idiot! I tell John and we both sit there laughing our asses off. Sheesh....the stupid things that happen to me, I really should write a book! ROFL

You know how you're on vacation and everything goes by in a blur? I wish I could share all of the fun stuff we did but first it was our honeymoon so I'm sure you don't want to know EVERYTHING! LOL and secondly there would be just too much to write. Let me just say that we had lots of fun and we have decided that we are going on a "honeymoon" every year! :-)

I talked to the girls when we got home. They are having fun in California, they have already been to Disneyland and California Adventure. I think they are going to Magic Mountain next weekend. I miss them so much but I am so glad they are having fun.

Let's see...what else? Nathan and his family are stopping by to pick up their kitten tonight, John is back to work today, I have laundry to do and a van to clean, and my mom potty trained Anthony while we were gone! Can you believe that? I am so happy, I was really dreading having to do that!
Anthony "wrote" a letter to his Uncle Gilly telling him all about it. *Click Here* to read, it is so funny!

I guess that is it. I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and as soon as I have time I'll catch up on my daily reads. ~::~Hugs~::~

Added later: OMG, I can't believe I forgot to tell you this. I am a grandma! ROFL John's oldest son and his wife had a baby girl last week named Shelby Lynn. Sadly, John and his son are estranged right now but we have a card and gift we plan to send and maybe someday we will get to see John's granddaughter. Until then she is in our hearts and we are happy to know that she is healthy and very much loved.

John has to work for half a day today and then we are on our way. He had to go in to get his check and hopefully will be able to get out of there easily. I still have a few things to do........like pack! ROFL Procrastination is my middle name. Yesterday I was looking for ideas on helping to clear clutter mostly in Anthony's room and I came across a message board which led me here. All I can say is that the photos there are more than disturbing. They made me physically ill. I didn't know people could live like that. Very, very scary! I don't know if I will have time to post later so if I don't I'll say goodbye now, see you when we get back. :-) Before I head out I'll leave you with my Friday Five:

1. How long have you had a weblog?
I have had a blog since November 1, 2000

2. What was your first post about?
Nothing too exciting, Anthony had scattered Q-tips all over the bathroom. Wow.....I probably put my very first readers to sleep! ROFL

3. How many changes (name, location, etc.) of your weblog have there been, if more than one?
I have only had a slight name change, I went from "Lisa's Family Roadtrip" to just "roadtrip". As for location I started my blog on Geocities and then transferred it over to my infernodezigns server due to problems with Geocities. I have only changed graphics 3 times. Isn't that sad? I read so many blogs that change graphics like they change underwear. I enjoy their changes but I just don't have the time or energy to do that. Besides to be honest, I hate change.

4. What CMS (content management system) do you use? Do you like it or do you want to try something else?
I have always used Blogger, once again lazy and afraid of change.

5. Do you read people who have both a journal and a weblog? Or do you prefer to read people who have all of their writing in one central place?
You know I never really thought about it. I thought they were one and the same. Silly me, I guess I am totally missing out on an entire loop of reading. lol Hopefully most of my daily reads keep their stuff in one central place. If I had to categorize what I read I would say I mostly read journals.

I spent way too much time here this morning. I have never been there before but found some really fun ideas I can't wait to try when the girls get home. I really love her concept of having to destroy the package to get to the gift. I hate saving wrapping paper/gift bags etc. It drives me nuts when people do that although I have learned to look the other way when John's sisters recycle my gift bags. Now wouldn't it drive them nuts to have to destroy the package to open it? ROFL

As much as I enjoyed the above site I really should get off my ass and get some work done. I have to finish up the laundry so that I can start packing for our honeymoon. Now that I think of it I have no luggage! The girls took all of my bags to California with them! Anyway, it's a honeymoom.......do we really need clothes? hehe

John still thinks that I am going to make a list of where we will be going and things to do etc. I told him I wasn't going to because I don't want a list, I just want to go. But he just snickers because he thinks he knows me so well. Ok, so I confess, I am a list person. I even make a list of every item of clothing the girls take to California so that they don't forget anything. I had detailed lists made for every person in my wedding party so they knew exactly what to do. In fact I cringed at the last wedding I drove limo for because the bride had a handwritten note that everyone was passing around so they knew what to do. Okay, I'm going way off subject. The point is I do NOT necessarily need to make a list and this time I am not going to make one just to prove Mr. I-Know-Everything wrong. And if I just can't take it and break down and make a list anyway, well, I'll just be sure he doesn't see it! ROFL

Only two more days and John and I will be headed to Wisconsin. Every one keeps asking me where we are going. Honestly, we have no plan. We are just going to get in the car and go. For four days we are just going to do whatever we want to do, no cell phones, no limousines, no children, absoultely nothing! Whoohoo :-)

Last night Nathan (limo driver I drove with last Saturday) brought his wife and children over to see the kitties. They picked a calico one. They picked the one that I wanted to keep but didn't because the girls wanted the striped kitty. Oh well, at least I can still go visit. :-( They didn't take her home yet but the kitties should be ready to move out next week. I am already sad about it but I guess I should try to find more homes. I swear if they could stay this little and cuddly I would keep them all! ROFL

Ok, I feel better now. (reference to prior post made earlier today) uummmm.....sometimes there is no point in going to someone and bitching them out, even when you really, really want to. I vent here and can forget about the whole damn thing. There are some people that you can just go around and around with and nothing ever changes. Better to just let it go. I can get my digs in here and then smile serenely when said person pisses me off because I really don't want to start another world war in my family. (speaking of which still haven't heard from my sister, my last email, which I thought was very nice and understanding, has been ignored)

Last night my run to the casino was good. They offered me tickets to the concert they were going to but I didn't really want to go to a concert wearing a tuxedo with people I didn't know. Besides, the concert was George Thorogood ummm sorry I don't think I would pay to see him, lol....hey my ticket was free and I still didn't go. Instead I found a quiet corner and read a book. I got a $50.00 tip.... wooohooo...... plus my wages. Not bad for one night.

Good news about John L. (my new FIL). He had been told a few months ago that he was really sick and they have been measuring one of his arteries fearing an aneurysm which could have been fatal. They told him that he would need surgery but his health wasn't up to having a surgery so they were just going to wait. We were all very worried and anxious because they had to measure it again yesterday. Turns out the original results were from SOMEONE ELSE'S TEST!!! Can you believe that shit? All this worrying for nothing and the poor guy with the bad test was told that he was ok! Sheesh. Anyway, we are of course glad that he is ok.

OMG.....my whole damn post just disappeared. I had this entire post about my stepsister who has really been pissing me off lately. Maybe the thing disappeared for a reason because I was headed towards dangerous ground on issues that don't need to be mentioned here or anywhere else for that matter. Let me just say that I don't like her, she doesn't like me and the further we stay away from each other the better off we are. Although I do have to add that if by chance she happens to read this (because yes I know you have in the past): Leave me the hell alone. Do not come to me crying because your husband wasn't invited to John's bachelor party, I don't want to know that your little feelings are hurt because I looked at you wrong, and I don't give a shit that you "are bitter" over the fact that my daughters have a bedroom in the attic when you want it for yourself. For the record I do NOT go out of my way to hurt you because if I did your whole world would crumble around you. I am sick and tired of hearing that things aren't "fair". Grow up, Leave me alone and we will both be better off.

There is so much on my mind little things like what is going on here today, how much I enjoyed almost half a pint of my favorite ice cream last night, how much I hate going to Dairy Queen because they totally suck and I don't think I am going there again, and larger things like how annoyed I am with certain people in my life, how if they even look at me wrong I just might slap them, I am missing my sister and I am wondering how my brother is doing. There is also stuff going on here in the online world that is bothering me, I wonder how many people REALLY want to know the real people behind the blogs that they read, I know that recently I have posted real stuff, real stuff that hurts and is honestly how I feel and somehow only one person was able to comment on it and that was in an email no less. Don't get me wrong, I don't blog because I want comments, I mean I have been blogging way before blogging got all cute and country. To me blogging isn't about being cute and nice, it's about what is real in my life. Thanks to things said by one of the few people online who REALLY knows me and loves me anyway, I have realized that my blog is turning not exactly to fluff but close. I have started posts and then deleted them because I didn't want to offend anyone. I hate myself for that because if you know me in real life you know that I say what I think and I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me. I have hidden myself behind cute little cuddly graphics and I am ready to make myself puke. But, my point is that I don't have time to get into it right now because I have a three year old who wants my attention, a house full of kitties that I need to find homes for and a tuxedo to put on so that I can transport a group of people to a concert.

Yes, I love cute country graphics and my house is filled with teddy bears and all things country but I am so much more than cute, country things, I am a mom, I am a wife, I am a wonderful lover and I enjoy sex more than I was raised to enjoy it, I hate to cook, I am a bitch when you piss me off and I cry during sad movies, I listen to loud rap music that rattles the windows in my minivan, I try not to swear in front of my children but sorry sometimes "darn" just doesn't cut it when someone cuts you off in traffic and then flips you off because you are in "their" way, I hate shopping and I love spending an entire day doing nothing but reading a good book, I drive limousines, I hate making my bed, I am the best mom, daughter and wife that I can be but I can be selfish, bratty, mean, nasty and ugly for no reason other than that I feel like it. I have never written in this blog to please others, if you look through my archives you will see that I have shown my true self again and again. I hate the fact that I feel as if I have been sugar coating my life, watching my language, hoping I don't step on any toes. The more I think about it the more pissed off I get at myself. This is me, this is my life, you may not always agree with what I say but at least you will always know that it is real. Don't worry, I don't expect anyone to comment about this post. It's kinda like a train wreck, you can't help but look and be thankful that it isn't you but if anyone should happen to see you watching you quickly look away. After all it has nothing to do with you, hopefully your life will never feel like a train wreck but if it does I hope you have the strength to live through it and don't feel too bad when people pretend like they don't see it. It's just human nature after all.

My :: brother's ship :: departed yesterday. I am so happy that my dad was able to drive up there and wave him off. I guess they (my dad, Michelle and the kids) were able to go on to his ship and get a tour and even eat there with him. After which my brother left with my dad to his hotel and they stood up the entire night talking. I can't imagine how hard it was for my dad to say goodbye. I am just so happy that my brother knew there was someone there waving goodbye to him. My dad took lots of pictures, I can't wait to see them.

Yesterday was spent melting in a tuxedo because I drove limo for an all day wedding. They needed two limo's so Nathan and I picked them up at 10:30am and didn't drop them off until 6:00pm. Most of which was spent waiting in between hair appointments and photos. Nathan is a newer driver although he has driven much more than I have. He was a lot of fun to talk to but I swear if he would have made one more joke about me being the "bosses daughter" I would have strangled him!

Not much going on today, just gonna relax with my little family and start getting things ready to leave on our honeymoon. I can't believe we leave in less than a week. I am so excited, 5 whole days alone! We have NEVER had 5 entire days to ourselves! Last night John and I stood up late talking, about past relationships and how different everything feels this time. When you get married at 18 you think you know what you are doing, you think you are in love and maybe some people are lucky enough to be right and even to make it work. In my case I went through the motions of what I thought I was supposed to do but I never felt as if my life fit. It was as if I wasn't really me but I had to play the part so that no one would know I was a fake. The best thing I ever did was to pack up my stuff and start a new life with my daughters. Divorce isn't always a pretty thing and I don't recommend breaking up marriages without trying but how can you possible be happily married when you don't even know who you are? I would much rather struggle through life alone than to have to pretend to be happy in a life and marriage that I hate. I am so thankful for the time that I was alone, my years as a single mom proved to me that I am strong, that I can do anything. The years I spent alone really taught me who I was and what kind of person I want to be. I was lucky to fall in love with someone who loves me for the person I am, not in spite of my faults but because of them and I am happily married, not because I couldn't live without John but because I know I could, thankfully I just don't have to.