Summer Bucket List

So I started this post back in June 2012 and I am not quite sure where I was going with it, I am assuming I was planning to talk about our summer bucket list which kept us quite busy! We completed about 90% of our 50+ item list. Everything from camping to a watermelon eating contest, a fun vacation at a beautiful lake cabin in Minnesota to going on a road trip to find an old fashioned drive-in move theater (first time for the little ones). We made stuff, visited new places, went back to old favorites and made tons of fun summer memories.

As I write this, it is already cold and snowy in North Dakota. The best part about toughing it out through a long North Dakota winter? The excitement of waiting for another fun, amazing summer. I am already planning our summer vacation plans (camping in South Dakota!) and I can't wait to see the leaves start to bloom, the snow melt away and finally be able to trade in our winter boots for flip flops!

I hope you dance

Yesterday was a bright sunny day in Fargo, I meant to get up and go to church but due to staying up late watching movies with the kids the night before I ended up sleeping in. So, after a lazy afternoon of not much at all, I started to rush around to get Caitlyn ready for her final dance performance of the season. Before I headed out the door I glanced at my Facebook and noticed someone post that a friend from church had passed away. Finding out on FB was not ideal, especially because the person posting was my SIL and I wish she would have had the consideration to call me. I was upset, sad, and a million other emotions.

I was trying to remember the last time I had seen Sarina, it was on Easter Sunday when her and my older girls sang together for the Easter service at church with the worship band. Sarina was a sweet person, she always had a warm hug whenever I saw her and she always took the time to ask how we were all doing. We didn't spend much time together outside of church, an occasional lunch and this past fall she went with my family to see Danielle's play. She was only 52. The hows and whys are unknown, and in reality they don't even matter. It is just a strong reminder that we need to appreciate every moment we have with those we care about because we truly never know when it will be our last.

I had to quickly pull myself together and get Caitlyn to her dance show. As I watched all of the beautiful young girls, put their entire hearts and souls into their dance numbers, from the littlest ones fidgety in their tutus to the older ones, with graceful turns and jumps, I couldn't help but think of Sarina.

Sarina, I hope that you know how much you were loved, I hope that as your beautiful voice now joins a choir of angels, I hope that you feel the lightness in your soul as all of your earthly pains are now released. I hope you sing and laugh and feel the sunshine on your face, and as the song goes... above all else I hope you dance.

Life keeps going

Well, again another long stretch since my last post. How can I ever hope to consider myself a writer if I don't write every day? I know that I am afraid to face the pain that comes out with writing but this is getting ridiculous! It has been over four years... Time to let go. Of course I know what is holding me back. Forgiveness. I just don't know how to do that. I don't know how to forgive the one person that I loved so very much and who took my love for granted, who was willing to toss it away for a skanky piece of ass. And speaking of skanks, I still am angry which is most likely apparent, I wouldn't even know how to say the word forgive and her name in the same sentance. I have been contemplating writing her a letter, but honestly don't know if that is really the route that I want to go, I hesitate to open a connection between us because I do not want her to feel that I would want to hear back from her. So I am just trying to get my mind wrapped around the process of forgiving and letting go. It is not easy but I will get there.

Now onto other things... Just a few random events in my life:

I have a new iPad which I love and as I am writing this in bed on my new iPad I am hoping this is the answer to more frequent posts. Although they will most likely be shorter cause iPad typing isn't as easy as keyboard typing.

I am working on expanding my daycare license... On a deadline so really need to get my butt in gear with that one.

My dad had a knee relacement surgery, he is doing well.

My nephew had a surgery to remove some masses from his ear, he is doing well.

Britt is preparing for her LSAT's and is only a few weeks away from completing her junior year at Concordia College.

Danielle is graduating from high school in about six weeks which has me extremely stressed out.

Anthony just had his last choir concert this week and he is excited to tour other schools with the jazz choir. He is also looking forward to another fun summer at Trollwood which starts up as soon as school lets out.

Caitlyn is excited about the new swing set I just purchased and is already hanging upside down on the bars like a monkey, she also just recently taught herself how to do a one-handed cartwheel. She also has her last dance performance today.

I have a zillion things to do today, the first of which is going to be to make myself a cup of coffee, so time to get moving but excited to be able to blog from bed, I could get used to this.