It has been a very busy week. I did get some pictures my brother emailed that I wanted to share with you. He was so excited about his visit with the President. He said it was the most incredible experience and that the President was, as he put it, genuinely proud of all of them. I guess the homecoming to Washington was incredible but it was very hard because they had to stand at attention and couldn't wave at all of the people. He said he was crying because it was so moving and all he could do was salute. He wasn't able to get off of the ship today but will be able to get off tomorrow.

He was able to get off of the ship last week when they stopped in San Diego. My dad and his wife Michelle drove from San Francisco to be there with him. I guess they went out to eat and a gentleman who could tell that they were celebrating asked the waitress to find out why. When she told him that Gilly had just got off of the USS Abraham Lincoln he asked her to bring the entire tab to him. He was gone by the time my brother and dad found out that he had paid for everything. Isn't that like the coolest thing? I wish we knew more about him. Was he in the service? Did he have a son who was serving? I'm sure he had a story to tell, I just wish that we could have heard it. I know that will stand out in my brother's mind and some time in the future I can see him doing the same for someone else.

Ack......it's time for American Idol. I have to get going but hopefully I will have time to post more later. Enjoy the pictures. :-)

~Click for a larger image~

I think I've mentioned (a few times lol) that my brother is on the USS Abraham Lincoln. Tonight the President of the US will land on his ship. Each department was able to vote for a person that they wanted to represent their department. The person that they picked would be able to eat dinner with the President. My mom got a call from my brother yesterday. He was chosen to be able to eat with the President. I can't even tell you how excited I am for him. Yes, eating with the President is a big deal, but I think even more than that is the fact that all these people that work in his department liked and respected him enough to choose him for that honor. I am so proud of him! :-)

Danille was concerned that the President wouldn't like the "ship food." She felt that it would have been nicer to take him to a restaurant! ROFL My mom explained to her that they probably flew in some special food for the President to have a nice meal but Danielle wasn't all that convinced. :-)

Today is May Day. The kids made May Day baskets filled with candy and stickers. Anthony delivered them to all of the neighbors. It was so cute to see him running to each door, leaving the candy and running back as fast as his legs would carry him. He was a little pissed that he didn't get a basket. He wanted to keep the last basket but I told him that he had to give it to grandma. He announced that grandma would have to share with him. Like he really needs any more candy after Easter! I don't think I told you about his falling asleep last week with a chocolate bunny in his hand. He was on the couch watching tv and just fell asleep. We didn't notice at first and when we did his entire face was covered with chocolate. It was so funny and of course there was no camera to be found!

Tonight the girls have their last concert of the school year. The concerts are always great, their music teacher really puts a lot of time into them. This year is the school's 25th anniversary so it should be really good. We will all finally get to hear the "school song" that Brittany helped to write. The only thing I feel bad about is that the President's speech will start while we are at the concert so we will probably miss most of it. I have no idea how to get my VCR to record. I am good at figuring out so many things but for some reason recording something is beyond me! Well, I've got to get to work. I might even be close to being on time today! lol

Have you ever found yourself leaning against your washing machine during the spin cycle? Not for the overly used, so called "excitement" that is the punch line of way too many lame jokes but because you are so tired you can barely stand up and you just want the damn thing to stop spinning so that you can finally put your last load of laundry into the dryer and go to bed!! I think that pretty much sums up my day.

This year we definitely had a non-traditional Easter! On Saturday night John and I went to the Elton John/Billy Joel concert. We had a wonderful time and then on Sunday morning the girls and I were picked up in a limo and driven with my mom and sister to Minneapolis where we spent the day at the Mall of America and then went to the Avril Lavigne concert. The mall was fun although most of the stores were closed because of the holiday. We did ride rides at Camp Snoopy, did some shopping at a few misc. stores and Old Navy and then had an awesome dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. The concert was sooo much fun! I love Avril Lavigne as do my girls. I thought for sure Brittany would lose her voice because she was screaming so loud.

The concert was packed which was surprising considering it was Easter Sunday. After the concert Brittany got autographed cd's from the opening bands Gob and Simple Plan. She was so excited! On Tuesday both girls couldn't wait to wear their Avril T-shirts to school. John and Anthony spent Easter at John's dad's house.

After such a long weekend I have been completely exhausted. Work has been busy and I still feel somewhat out of it. My house is a disaster and I just can't get motivated enough to do anything. I don't think we have cooked all week.

Last night the neighbors in the next building over had a loud and very public fight. It freaked my kids out who were able to witness it in the parking lot when we came home. They aren't used to fighting like that and it seemed to be getting physical. Someone called the police so it didn't go on very long, but you can tell we don't live in a small town anymore!

Did I mention that my brother is on his way home?! I had an email from him earlier this week saying that it was just about time for wog day, where he (and others on his ship) get hazed from being polywogs to shellbacks. I can't wait to see pictures. :-)

On Suday we will be having a "late" Easter dinner at our house. My mom, Bill, Addie and her boyfriend Mike will be coming. I think we are having ham but I'm not too sure, I guess I should check with John since he'll be doing the cooking. Did I mention that my house is a mess? That probably means that I should get off my ass and get some work done! lol

One time, in band camp.......oh sorry, I never actually went to band camp. Actually, I was never in band. But ever since we registered Brittany for band camp, I can't get that saying out of my head. ROFL She will be going to the International Music Camp located at the International Peace Gardens. She is so very excited and I am excited for her although a bit nervous to have my "baby" so far away. Even if it is only for a week!

Not much else going on around here, yes we got our taxes filed on time (barely) and yesterday it snowed! I am still not ready for Easter. Although I did go shopping on my lunch break today for a few things. When we moved I threw out all of the old Easter baskets, plastic eggs and other junk I didn't feel like packing. Today I wish that I would have kept them because that just means I had more stuff to buy. I did find some cute stuff though, although of course John goes, "You spent HOW much on Easter baskets?"

If it were up to him we'd go out and buy the pre-packaged baskets from Walgreen's that cost $12.00 each. Even that would be too much. It's not that he's cheap, it's just that I think he forgets that we live in the year 2003 not 1973. But of course, none of that matters because I went overboard as usual and buying a pre-packaged basket is never as much fun as making your own. My mom says it's because I was "deprived" as a child. Due to her religious beliefs at the time we didn't celebrate holidays, so she thinks that I am making up for all of the holidays I never had. Maybe she's right, but mostly, I think it is just fun to shop for cute little toys and Easter basket stuffers.

When the kids are in bed, I will have to smuggle all of my bags in and put the baskets together. I bought a whole bunch of these which were on sale, I think I might have to steal one. :-) These are my absolute favorite, much better than Cadbury Eggs which make my teeth hurt just thinking about them. So how about you? What is your favorite Easter candy?

John is on his way to go to the post office to get our taxes filed before the deadline. I was planning to go with him but as we were signing on all of the "X"s and filling out last minute info, we started snapping at each other. I think the stress of getting this all done at the last minute finally got to us so I figured it was best to stay home so that it didn't turn into a full scale argument. I mean, I was already at the point where I was yelling at him for chewing too loud! He doesn't just chew he chomps on his food so that it echoes.....I'm serious! Okay, I'm probably exaggerating a bit.......but not much. So, he is there, and hopefully the lines aren't too long and I am home doing laundry. I did find a cute survey at Kay's which I am going to do to get my mind off all of the other crap I should be doing. :-)

::Twenty Questions::
1. What is the furthest you've ever travelled? Canada on a fishing trip with my stepfather where I am sure he took us to the edge of the earth.
2. Which meal is the one you cook best? Tacos - I don't know about best but definitely most!
3. Where do you buy most of your clothes?I'm not really a clothes shopper although I would have to say most of my stuff comes from Gordmans or Kohls (think discount department stores)
4. What is your home town famous for?I live in Fargo, North Dakota, not much to be famous for other than the phrase "You Betcha!"
5. What was your best subject at school? Math
6. What sort of music would you never listen to? Country
7. Is there anything you would never eat? Mayonaise, just the smell of it makes me ill
8. How many languages can you speak? I'm sad to say I only speak English
9. Which sport do you like playing or watching the most? I love watching football and about the only sport I enjoy doing is swimming
10. Can you play a musical instrument? Which one(s)? I used to play the cello but I'm sure I have forgotten how by now.
11. What is the worst illness/injury you've ever had? I've never had a major injury or illness
12. Which blogging tool do you prefer? I use Blogger
13. What was the last charity you gave to? Do my children count? ROFL Actually I think the last time I donated money was to a local group rasing money for the troops.
14. How many romantic relationships have you had? I would have to say 5 serious relationships, and too many to count un-serious ones.
15. Where was the last restaurant you visited? Umm, I don't know the name of it, but yesterday Sara and I went out to eat at a chinese buffet.
16. Have you ever seen a band live? Which one? I'm going to see Elton John and Billy Joel in concert on Saturday and Avril Lavigne on Sunday, I have actually seen quite a few but some of my favorites were Metallica, No Doubt, The Eagles, Styx, Pink Floyd
17. Which famous person would you like to meet? Why?I can't really think of any one famous that I would like to meet, maybe Maya Angelou, I think she would be such an interesting person to talk to.
18. Have you ever been on television? Nope
19. Have you ever stayed overnight in a hospital?Yes, when I had the kids and never more than one night at a time. I hate hospitals.
20. What is your ultimate ambition? To write a book

Do you know what today is? Of course, well guess what I don't have done. This is the first year that I haven't had my taxes filed in February or March. I don't know what is wrong with me, I don't make enough to owe them money, but I have been procrastinating all month. John is going to get all of our stuff over to Jenny today and hopefully they will get filed in time. It's not like I'm going to get anything back anyway, I'm sure that any refund coming in will go towards John's past due child support. Which isn't a big deal because at least the amount owed will go down. But I guess that's why I haven't filed, when you know you won't get anything back, what's the big rush? LOL of course now that today is the deadline there is a big rush!

I can't get rid of this cold and I basically feel like shit. I think I have a sinus infection but I haven't been to a doctor so I don't know for sure. It was a long weekend. On Saturday Danielle and I had an all day field trip for girl scouts which would have normally been fun but seeing as how my head felt like it was going to explode all day it was a very long day. The girls had fun though, we went to a workshop on Zink the Zebra. If you have a daughter in girl scouts and you have the opportunity to ever do this be sure to not miss it.

Other than that it was really a blah weekend. According to my mom, my sister is mad at me because she (my sister) said, that I said, that I didn't like her new boyfriend Mike. Which is not at all what I remember saying. I'm pretty sure that I just asked if he had fun when we all went to the circus cause he was so quiet that I couldn't tell if he was bored or what. She said he had fun and was maybe just nervous. So I told her to tell him to relax. And I think I made a joke that if he didn't loosen up soon we wouldn't get the chance to get to like him. I mean how could I like him or not like him based on meeting him about three or four times?! Sheesh.

Whatever I said, I did mean it as a joke which I could have explained if she would have called me instead of calling my mom and then telling my mom not to tell me that she was mad. Well, of course my mom tells me right away with instructions to not tell my sister that she told me anything. No wonder I have a headache! I thought about calling my sister to straighten things about, but in the frame of mind I have been in I'm sure I'd just make it worse. I am worn down with being sick and I am on my period and basically I have just been feeling like a bitch. I know that if I tried to talk to my sister I would either get mad or cry and make things 10 times worse. So it is probably just best to let it blow over. Why does there always have to be some kind of drama? I mean, if my mom knew that I couldn't talk to my sister about it, why did she tell me in the first place?! Just to make me feel like shit I guess. I haven't talked to my mom since that conversation either.

I guess I just need some space. What I really want is to get better and maybe when my head doesn't feel like it is about to split open I can deal with this other shit. Or maybe I will just let it blow over and forget about it. I mean in the large scheme of things, how important is it really?

Last night my computer crashed and then my server decided to keep knocking me offline so I did what every sensible person does. I yelled at it and then decided to go to bed. My sister lent me some new books and I started Fourplay, she said it was really good and so far I would have to agree. Sara (from work) also lent me The Good Mother. I started that as well but it is so intense that I can only read it in spurts. From the first page you can tell that something bad is going to happen.

So last night John was working late at the limo shop with Bill trying to get the coach back together and I am curled up in bed (alone) with two different books both about women going through a divorce. How ominous is that? (Just kidding John!) ROFL

I try to decide which one to read, the one about the husband who will eventually drag his ex-wife through a horrific custody battle or the one where the ass of a husband leaves his wife for a younger woman, his secretary no less. I went with the second one because I knew the other one would make me cry and besides, I am the younger woman in John's life so there shouldn't be any similarities. hehe Although I guess now that I am 30 maybe I should reconsider that!

I don't remember falling asleep but I guess I did because I was woken up at 5am with John barely getting home! He slept for a few hours and is already at work. And here I sit feeling guilty as hell because I should also be heading to work and instead I am sitting on my ass because I can't seem to get motivated. I so hate mornings!

I had one of those really good days at work today, nothing in particular happened, it just went smoothly I guess. So why do I have this major, throbbing headache right now. Could it be that I still have a sinus cold and can't seem to stop coughing. I've finally started taking the vitamins I bought over a week ago so maybe that will help.

I've been wanting to stop over at Liz's and check out her yummy candles.......note to self to do that tonight. There are also so many blogs I've missed reading. I really have to catch up soon.

This morning I watched the fall of Saddam's statue. I was supposed to be at work, but I found myself glued to the television. As I listened to the sounds of joy as people celebrated their liberation I felt tears come to my eyes. This is what it was all about. I can't imagine that the rest of the journey in Iraq will be easy, I feel as if it will probably get much worse. I keep thinking about how easily crowds get out of control in our own country, how much worse will it be in a nation with no acting government or police? All though these thoughts were constantly playing in the back of my mind, I still couldn't help but to feel overjoyed as I watched the symbolism of Saddam Hussein's terror fall to its knees.

Today Brittany wanted to know why if the people in Iraq were celebrating the arrival of our troops and the fall of Saddam, why are the people in our own country still protesting? I would like to know the answer to that myself.

We finally went and picked up a copy of our marriage certificate. My drivers license has been expired since my birthday and I figured I'd better get around to renewing it with my new last name. I also picked up the tabs for my license plates which expired in February. Wow.....I can finally watch "COPS" without feeling paranoid that they would soon be looking for me! ROFL I'm serious, I'm surprised I never got pulled over just because I looked guilty! hehe

I am having an overwhelming craving for grapefruit juice. Not the sweet, sticky pink, cocktail kind, but the tart, pucker your lips, with absolutely no sugar added kind. How weird is that?

Brittany on the night of the Choral Festival

The concert went really well. They all did a great job. Brittany had a speaking part where she introduced one of the songs with an opening by the composer. It was beautiful and very touching. I had several of the mom's say that she brought tears to their eyes. She has such a dramatic voice. I of course didn't cry, I am always way too nervous when she is on stage to even think about crying! After the concert we went out to eat and then came home and watched movies.

On Sunday we took the kids to the circus. We had fun although Anthony ate way too much junk food. Let's see, he conned my sister into buying him cotton candy, before I realized it he had ate the whole thing! Then he had two snow cones (his and John's), a hot dog, popcorn, and a chocolate bar. I think he probably would have been fine except for after the circus we went to visit John's dad and Anthony kept sneaking cookies. Because no one else pigged out as much as he did, we were all hungry by the time we got home so we ordered pizza. Anthony didn't eat anything and instead went to bed. About an hour after he went to bed he puked everywhere! I felt so bad, I didn't really realize how much he had ate until after he got sick! Bad mommy! :-P It's a good thing that the circus only comes once a year!

On Monday my cold finally caught up to me and there was no way I could go to work. I am still coughing and my body was so exhausted I couldn't get out of bed. I slept just about all day until John and the kids came home. I went to work today but still felt out of sorts. Well, I have laundry to finish, homework to check and a little monster who needs a bath. 'Nite

Proud mommy time again. :-) I don't know if you recall my blogging about the districtwide choir that Brittany tried out for last fall, well, today is (finally) the day of the performance. She had to be at their final practice at 8:30am and she just got home about half an hour ago. We went shopping last night and found her a new dress. She is so excited. They had a long day of practice but she said it was fun. She said at one point the director asked her assistant if any of the voices were standing out the the first person she mentioned was the "girl in the black shirt" and pointed at Brittany. I am so proud of her. The actual performance is at 7:00 tonight and we still have to stop on the way and get her new shoes. So I'd better get going. :-) Oh, I almost forgot, I scanned in the newsletter article about the festival, I emailed it to my dad so please feel free to read it. Have a great night, I know I will. :-)

John actually didn't have to work tonight so we went out to eat and then picked up a few groceries and rented a few movies. The plan was to come home and veg out on the couch but he ended up falling asleep so I am here checking email and stuff. Today was very cold. For some reason I had it in my head that there was a girl scout meeting after school so I rushed out of work because of course as usual I was running late only to find that the parking lot was a skating rink and my van was coated with ice. It had started to rain which in turn froze because it was so cold. I just love driving on roads covered in freezing rain! I knew it would be slick so I avoided the interstate and took the back roads because people around here always drive like maniacs in crappy weather. I was about 3 miles from the school when my gas tank went to zero and I was in the middle of nowhere with of course no cell phone. I drove with my fingers crossed the whole way hoping I wouldn't run out of gas and have to walk the rest of the way into town (there is a gas station across the street from the girls' school). Thankfully I made it to the gas station on fumes and a prayer and filled up my tank. I then went to the school to find it empty except for the secretary who told me that there wasn't a girl scout meeting today.

So I went to my mom's house and did payroll instead. My stepfather had a limo run and about 10 minutes after he left he called to tell me to drive home very carefully because he had slid the limo into a ditch. Fortunately, there was no one else in the car! Can you imagine?! I would have totally freaked out which is the main reason why I refuse to drive until it is summer! He was fine and the limo was fine, so he drove out of the ditch and continued on his run.

Well, I guess I should drag my husband to bed and read for a bit. Have a great night. :-)

After work today I went grocery shopping because there was absolutely nothing to eat in this house. On the way to the store I noticed my wallet of pictures laying on the dash. I had this weird thought that I should take it off of there because there are certain people that I don't want to advertise my vehicle too and they would definitely recognize my kids. I tried to shrug off my freaky paranoid feelings but I removed my pictures all the same. As I zipped into the parking lot of the grocery store (well I guess you can't really zip in a mini van but you get the picture) I just about ran over Eddie (my ex and Anthony's biological dad) and some girl. I completely froze. Thankfully he didn't see me and I actually backed up and went to the end of the parking lot so that he wouldn't see me. I parked behind this big truck and watched as they got into their car. I was actually shaking and it was so weird because I remembered my prior paranoid feeling before I even saw him.

I have no contact with him and for the most part don't even think about him. I refuse to collect child support from him because honestly, John is Anthony's dad and I don't want any connection to Eddie. When Anthony was a baby he would visit but when he realized that we were never getting back together he just drifted away and has never made an attempt to be a part of Anthony's life. He sometimes runs into my family but he never even asks for Anthony. From what I have been told he knows that John is raising him (Anthony) and he considers John to be his dad, which is how it should be because Eddie has never really attempted to be a dad. Anyway, I don't know why I got so shook up over seeing him but I did. I must have sat in the car for at least 10 minutes after they left before I could drag myself into the grocery store.

What freaks me out is that I always have a feeling that I am going to see him and sure enough I do. Last summer I was on my way to pick up my wedding dress when I had this weird feeling that he was close by. I was driving by a construction site and so I just figured that I had that feeling due to association, not necessarily because he was around. But on my way back from the store I drove right by that same place and I had to stop for a red light. As I glanced over to the construction site there he was.

Once I was at work and I actually felt him there before he even walked in. When I felt that weird feeling I looked up and I saw the side of his face as he entered the building. I ran into the back office and stood there until he left. I didn't want him to know where I worked because although I know he has moved on with his life I still have a fear that he will bother me again. I learned the hard way with him that restraining orders don't work.

Anyway, I always feel weird when I see him, I think it is partly fear because things were pretty nasty between us towards the end and he did a very good job of scaring me and also guilt because I have this wonderful little boy because of him and he will never know what he is missing out on.

Thankfully, by the time I finished with my shopping I felt like myself again and was able to come home and make dinner. John is working late at the limo shop so I guess I am going to go to bed and read. I watched part of American Idol but I can never seem to watch TV without being interrupted a million times so there is really no point.

Long boring day at work today. I am still feeling sick so it was all pretty blah. Hopefully this cough will go away soon, I am so sick of being sick but it's not bad enough to go to a doctor cause pretty much they wouldn't be able to do anything anyway. Brittany is telling me a very long boring story about school. I am trying to listen because I know that before I know it she will quit telling me about her day but damn her stories are LONG! She has been talking for at least 20 minutes straight telling me about a fight with one of her friends. I can't even get a thought in edgewise will all of her chattering. So I guess I'll end this post for now and give her my undivided attention so that she can finish up soon (I hope). If she doesn't stop soon I think I'll tell her to do some chores, that should get her to disappear pretty quick. hehe

I really do try to listen to her stories about school but if you have ever heard any of Brittany's stories (or if you have a Brittany of your own) I'm sure you can understand. She can go on, and on, and on.............well now that I think about it, I have had some pretty long posts here so I guess I know where she gets it from. lol

Well I see that blogger is having template issues. Thankfully that would explain all of my headaches last night, I was starting to think that I was offline way too long and had forgotten everything! That's ok, I have to go to work anyway and if it is still down tonight maybe that means that I will actually get some laundry done!

Bill (stepdad) stopped by yesterday, he had to pick up some stuff but he also showed us pictures of him and Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby had a show at a casino not far from here and Bill picked him up at the airport and drove him there. He (Cosby) had two comedy shows and prior to that he did a special show for children. The casino is on a reservation and there are some serious educational issues there. Education is a serious issue for him so I guess he gave a wonderful talk to the children there, hopefully he was able to reach some of them. Bill (stepdad not Cosby) said that Mr. Cosby was very nice. The kids were excited to see the picture of their grandpa with Bill Cosby, Danielle especially was very excited, she watches the Cosby Show on Nick every day. Well, I'd better get my ass to work. One of these days I might actually have to get there on time! ROFL

okay, I actually had my layout, but could I leave it alone? Of course not, so here I am back to square one. I wish I knew if it was blogger doing this weird shit or if it is just something stupid on my end........I really, really have to go to bed so if you see some weird ass layout you know why........it is NOT what I intended, I promise! ROFL

sorry, I lied, I'm still trying to get this damn thing to work.......but this really is the last time........if it doesn't work I'm going to bed! I just wish I knew what the hell was wrong?!

Okay, I REALLY mean it this time! lol I am so tired, I have to go to bed, I don't know what is wrong, this stupid thing is taking my code and replacing it with one of it's own. I am too tired to mess with it but tomorrow I'll go over my layout to see if there is something wrong with it that would explain this. Have a good night and I'll see ya tomorrow, hopefully with my own layout! :-P

Okay, here goes with the new layout, hopefully I didn't mess it up too bad......
.....that was scary, let's try it again......(keeping fingers crossed)........
what the hell??........

okay, this is really starting to piss me off......sorry if you happened to witness the mess as I try to update things here....
still not working, I am either getting too tired or something is really wrong with my layout because this is NOT what this is supposed to look like. So if it doesn't work now I am just going to forget it, go to bed and try again tomorrow. :-P

I should be at work right now but I can't seem to get my ass moving. Yesterday I woke up with a cough and today I feel like total shit. I did spend yesterday working on a new layout but as you can see I haven't uploaded it yet. Hopefully I will have time to do that tonight. Yesterday was one of those lazy Sundays where you look back on Monday morning and wish you would have got more done. I still have laundry to do and my computer area looks like a disaster hit. Between empty coffee mugs and photo albums from where Brittany scanned in baby pics for her autiobiography, not to mention just the typical mess that usually seems to find its way here I can barely find my keyboard! My computer is in the basement of our new home and as the basement is supposed to be the kids playroom there are unpacked boxes of toys, books, and pretty much everything else we didn't know what to do with. Hopefully we will get this organized soon because it is driving me insane.

Do any of you wear contact lenses? Have you ever went to put your contacts into your eyes and open the case to find them empty? If you have, did you wrack your brain trying to remember if you took them out the night before. Maybe you close one eye and then another trying to see if things look blurry because your eyes are tired from wearing contacts all night or is it because you really just can't see. You might stand inches away from the mirror peering into it, trying to see if you can see a contact lens, maybe you push your finger into your eye to see if they might have stuck to your eye ball. You will probably squint into your contact case again, maybe you just over looked them, are they stuck to the top of the lids? As you rule out first one scenario and then another you notice stuck to the side of the sink a dried up remain of your contact lens. It suddenly hits you that you left the case within reach of a four year old. Pretty stupid of you isn't it..........or maybe it's just me.

I miss my brother. Somedays I wonder why it is so easy to go about my every day life as if nothing is wrong when in the back of my mind I can't get over the fact that our country is at war and my brother is on a ship further away than I ever imagined possible at the center of this war.

There are so many opinions about this war, I see the protestors on tv and I am thankful that I live in a place like Fargo, North Dakota where the only people protesting are college kids, and there aren't even very many of those. I can drive down the street and see people proudly flying flags, not burning them. I am thankful that I don't live in a place where I would have to fight through crowds due to people protesting a war that my brother and many others are risking their lives for.

I can't and won't believe that my brother is in danger for an unjust cause. I can't and won't believe that the American lives that we have lost so far are for nothing. I am not a republican but I am proud to support our President and I am proud to be an American and I am thankful that there are brave men and women who are willing to put their lives at risk for the safety of others. I don't think that anyone wants to go to war but I do believe that there are times when it is unavoidable.

So I go about my daily life, washing dishes, going to work, playing games with the kids. I wonder what life is like in Iraq, what is it like to be a mom in Iraq today? My heart is heavy for them because I can't even imagine the fear of not knowing what tomorrow will bring. But I have to believe that someday in the distant future, when my grandchildren are sitting in their history class, they will see a picture of the planes flying off of the USS Abraham Lincoln and they will know that their great-uncle was on that ship and they will be proud to know that he had a small part in helping to make this world a better place. Maybe someday women in Iraq will be able to spend a Saturday grumbling about how much laundry they have left to do and why on earth can't their children stop slamming the screen door as they go out to play without a fear of what tomorrow will bring. Until that day I hold in my heart the wish that my brother, and all of the men and women overseas will come home safe to a crowd of people, not protesting what they did but thanking them for a job well done.

This photo is of my little brother Gilbert
taken a few weeks before he left
on deployment July 21, 2002.

It is Saturday and I have so much to do. After a week of everyone going to work/school/daycare during the day and nights of homework, dinners, projects, etc. we are all ready to have a day of doing nothing. Of course that isn't possible because today is the day to do all of the other stuff that we didn't get around to doing during the week. You know things like cleaning! ROFL Our house is a mess, laundry has piled up, the bathroom needs a good scrubbing, and the basement has toys everywhere.

On top of that, Brittany is working on one of those school projects that seems to require more work from me than it does for her. Her class is writing an autobiography which will have to cover her entire 12 years of life and our family history. We have completed the first chapter. Notice I said "WE". I had to wrack my brain trying to remember her entire first year of life, thank goodness I kept a very detailed baby book.....well actually two baby books, I am a little nervous that Anthony will have to do this same project someday because I never did make him a baby book. Anyway, we had to scan pictures and put them into book style. I know that in the end this will be a wonderful keepsake but for now it is just a pain in the ass, it has been way too time consuming and time these days is something that I don't seem to have much of.

Danielle has to make an "invention" for the invention fair and I have a feeling that this will also be something that I will have to spend quite a bit of time on. To make things even more difficult my printer is broke so until we can get a new one I have to email everything I need printed to either my mom's house or to work so that I can print it out.

But of course things like printers go on the back burner when you have things like transmissions going out. That happened in January and if you have ever had to buy a transmission for a Town & Country minivan you know that they are not cheap. Thankfully, we work for a parts place because we were able to put it on an account and make payments. I hate owing people money so hopefully that will get paid off soon.

I think I mentioned that I have a lot of stuff to do today, notice that I am still here. Maybe if I keep blogging all day I won't have to go and clean the bathroom. Ha! As if that is going to happen. Actually, I have to get going shortly, Brittany is babysitting today. She had her first babysitting job last Saturday and she was really excited to be asked to babysit again today. She also had our neighbors call her last night to see if she could babysit for a few hours today but since she had already commited to babysit for someone else I told them that I would watch their kids because they had to go into work for a few hours. They have four kids so my house will be insane for a few hours and of course it doesn't look nice enough to send them outside to play. Well, I'd better go, it is getting late and I have way too much to do. I made a few visits to my favorite blogs but there are so many that I haven't had a chance to visit yet, so hopefully I will get a chance to do that later. Have a great weekend!

Last weekend it was so warm here the kids played outside in shorts and tank tops. Today I drove home from work with great, big, fluffy snow flakes falling down. Hopefully it won't last because it was really nice to send the kids out to play last Saturday. One of our neighbors came over last Saturday and we drank coffee on the back step while we watched our kids play. It was so relaxing.

Well, I was hoping to get a bit longer post but I have to get going because Anthony told the girls that we were going to have Chinese food for dinner (I have NO idea where he got that idea from!) and they were so excited about it that I couldn't say no! lol Everyone is upstairs waiting for me so I guess I'd better get running.

I am hoping to have time to work on a new layout here tomorrow and when I am done with that I will hopefully be able to visit everyone and say "hello!" Have a great night! :-)

Hmm....It has been quite some time since I've been here, I think I might have forgotten what to do. LOL

I wish I could say that I had a solid reason as to why I have been offline for so long, but I would have to say it has been a combination of things. First, my internet service was acting weird and would kick me off every time I tried to get online, second I still have this damn cable modem sitting on my desk but it hasn't been hooked up because my piece of crap computer doesn't have the right card which I have been too lazy to install. On top of that I guess I would just have to say that my real time life has been so busy that I just haven't had time to be here. I apologize for leaving you all hanging and just up and disappearing, I would completely understand if none of you ever came back to visit me......but I hope you do. :-)

There is so much to share and if you have read any of my blog you know that I can ramble so I will try to put this all in a nutshell. All is well with me and my little family, the kids are getting big, they all had birthdays in the last month or so. Brittany is 12 and is getting very nervous about going into the middle school next year, Danielle is now 9 and is making new friends in our new neighborhood, and Anthony is now 4 and is getting way too big! Work is going very well, I enjoy being back there and all of the problems that caused me to leave in the first place have been resolved. I am enjoying being married probably a little too much because I need to go on a major diet. Why is it that when I am unhappy and alone I am thin and look my best but when I am happy and content I get fat? How stupid is that? Anyway, I won't bore you with that but hopefully I will be able to get rid of this weight because I refuse to buy new clothes! lol

I am desperately missing my brother who is serving on the USS Abraham Lincoln. He left right after my wedding and was supposed to be home in January but if you have watched any news lately you know where he is. I am so proud of him for serving our country but I just want him to be safe and come home. It is hard for me to write about it without wanting to cry. I spend way too much time watching the news and thankfully I am still able to hear from him often via email.

Oh, I had a birthday. I am now 30! Can you believe that? I would say that I feel old but I don't, well some days I do, but for the most part I just can't believe I am 30. Where in the hell did my 20's go? Oh yeah, I was getting married, having babies, and getting divorced. Speaking of divorce, Jorge, my ex-husband and his wife had a baby girl last month. They named her Cassandra and the girls are excited to meet their new baby sister when they go to California this summer.

Well, I guess I shouldn't try to cram several months into one entry and I am having a hard time writing because Brittany keeps interrupting me to listen to a song she is writing. Their school doesn't have a "school song" so their music teacher told them all to write a song and I guess they are going to vote for the best one. So she keeps singing me her lyrics and I keep losing my train of thought so I will try to work on this tomorrow and will hopefully have time this weekend to get a new look in here, something that will help me clean out all the "cobwebs".