Another life changing phone call. As I write my heart is filled with sadness and hope. My mom's sister called this morning. My aunt has a daughter who is a year younger than I am. 9 years ago she had a daughter named Cassandra. I have met Cassandra's mom twice in my life and Cassandra I have never met. Cassandra's mom no longer wants her. My aunt, Cassandra's grandmother, does not have the financial means or the stability to keep her. She called my mom and wants her to take her. My mom in her heart wants Cassandra and she of course would have no problem taking care of her financially. My mom's concern is that her and my stepdad have planned to retire in five years. They just got my brother, the baby of the family, out of the house. How do you go from sending your youngest son off into the Navy and turn around and take on the responsibilities of a nine year old? My mom and stepdad are both used to working until late at night, going out whenever they want, taking extended vacations. There is a lot for her to consider.

I on the other hand already have three kids, in all honesty one more won't make a difference. While our house isn't as huge as my mom's, we would have room for one more. Cassandra is close in age to both Brittany and Danielle. Getting her to school, activities, etc would not be a problem. Having one more would definitely NOT change our lifestyle......lol we don't have a lifestyle! My concern with us taking her is that financially it would be a lot to take on. I want this little girl more than I can say. Between my family and my mom and stepdad I think that we can provide a home, love and financial support for Cassandra.

My heart hurts at the thought of what it must be like to be nine year's old and have your mom not want you. There are many complications to work out. First of all, we would have to get my cousin to agree to let us take her. We would also have to get Cassandra's biological dad (who is an alcoholic and who supposedly doesn't want her either) to give up parental rights. We would then need to find a way to get her from Colorado to here and legally adopt her and/or get guardianship. Hopefully this can all get done so that she has time to adjust before school starts. That seems like a huge order but I do believe that if it is meant to happen it will work out. Please keep Cassandra in your thoughts and pray that in the end what is best for Cassandra will happen.

Okay, this is getting very pathetic! lol I have found so many old files, it is unbelievable! I found my chat icon from when I used to chat here. Yes, I used to hangout in the "Singles Bar" but ssshhh don't tell anyone! lol These ~~> were uploaded August 17, 1996. Sheesh......who knows where these lips have been! Well I do but I'm not telling! :-P hehe

Holy Cow! (lol I don't usually use that expression, honestly I don't but for some reason it seemed to fit) I am trying to clean out some of my files on this site and I found a graphic that had been uploaded September, 28, 1996 and definitely is not being used for any thing other than taking up space. Sheesh, I guess it's about time to get rid of some shit.......you think?

It's amazing how a persons life can change through no fault of their own. It's amazing how a choice made can affect everyone around you. My mom called yesterday. We have a mutual friend who lives in Maine. Penny was first and mostly my mom's friend but we would all get together and go out drinking and partying. Last summer Penny came to visit, actually Penny comes to visit every summer, she usually brings herself, her daughter and lobsters. I had never seen her so happy. Everything was going so well for her. Her and her husband had just built a new house, they had a very successful business, everything was perfect. This summer no one had heard from Penny so we just assumed she was too busy to visit.

A few weeks ago a drunk driver killed two people while coming home from a friends house. The drunk driver was Penny's husband. I never knew Penny's husband well. Once we all went out together and I remember him being so funny. His accent was so cute and I remember we all went out to eat after the bar closed and we had this incredibly stupid conversation about "Fluff". We had never heard of the stuff and he was so shocked that we had never tried it. Of course us being drunk added to the whole hilarity of the conversation.

I think back to that night because that is really the only mental picture I have of him. I can't think of him as the murderer of two people. The families of those lost will always think of him that way. Penny is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Not only has she lost her husband but she has to deal with the fact that her husband killed two people. He was driving their company vehicle when he hit them. The company is in her name and she is now being sued. I can't imagine the range of emotions she is going through right now. Her daughter is the same age as Brittany, how in the world could she possible deal with this? How does anyone get through something like this? My mom is flying down to see her. Hopefully in some small way that will help.

My heart breaks for the two people killed and for their families. Their lives were changed through no fault of their own. It is always hard to lose someone you love and care for regardless of the circumstances, but when you know it could have been prevented that must make it all the harder. My heart also breaks for my friend who in one moment had everything and again through no fault of her own has lost her husband and probably her business. The sad thing is that this tragedy will be repeated again and again. A different time, different place and different people. But somewhere out there someone who is loved by others will get behind the wheel of a car while drunk and kill someone they probably had never met before and change the lives of everyone who knows them. How sad is that?

I am totally addicted to this stuff. Every night I pop a bag while we are watching tv. I really don't like to share it but if Marshall is really, really nice I just might give him a little. Did you know that you can buy this in one gallon jugs? Yummm........I think I'm making myself hungry.

Not much going on today. Brittany decided to warm up one of these breakfast sandwiches in the microwave and burned it to a crisp! My entire house smelled like burned sausage. Thank goodness for yummy candles to get rid of the smell! :-) I also ordered new candles from here today. I can't wait to get them. I hope no more of my friends make candle sites because I am turning into a major candle addict! lol

I'm going to have to drag my ass out of the house soon and go shopping. Brittany has a bday party to go to tomorrow which of course means I have to buy a gift. She is never any help when it comes to shopping. I ask her if she has any ideas and she never has a clue. Lucky for her she has a smart mom who can figure it out because according to another mom I am known for buying the best gifts. lol....talk about pressure. The first time I mess up a gift everyone will be talking about it. hehe

It is so damn hot here, I am going out of my mind. Last night I woke up to crashing thunder and intense lightning. Normally I love waking up to storms but last night it was so hot and muggy I felt as if I couldn't breath. It didn't help that I had this bizarre dream that my entire family was in a Winnebego and we were leaving town in a hurry because of the storm. My stepdad was driving and I was sitting behind him on the floor holding my son who was a baby. Suddenly he slammed on the brakes because everyone else was leaving town and the traffic was incredible. I looked up and saw a man standing there holding a rifle to my stepdad's window. He wanted to hijack the vehicle. My stepdad calmly pulls over and lets him in. The guy gets in and sits across from me holding the gun at me and my son. I woke up shortly after that due to the storm but the dream really left me out of sorts. As I analyzed my dream I couldn't figure out which was more telling. The fact that my stepdad was the one driving and who allowed this man aboard (lately we haven't been getting along) or the fact that this guy looked like Marshall. Weird huh? The heat kept me up for most of the night and I got 5 new mosquito bites! Damn I am getting sick of summer!

Sssshhhhh.........Don't tell anyone but I am ready for snow!

Found at LaLa's....
If I were a stone, I would be a moonstone.
If I were a tree, I would be a weeping willow tree.
If I were a bird, I would be a killdeer.
If I were a machine, I would be a gumball machine.
If I were a fruit, I would be a mango.
If I were a flower, I would be a fire 'n' ice rose.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be a blizzard.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be a kazoo.
If I were a kind of profession, I would be a blacklisted journalist.
If I were an animal, I would be a flying mule.
If I were a color, I would be indigo blue.
If I were a fragrance, I would be Poison.
If I were an emotion, I would be belligerent.
If I were a vegetable, I would be a brussel sprout.
If I were a song, I would be Bitch by Merideth Brooks.
If I were a food, I would be a Blazen Hot Buffalo Wing.

I am awake. I hate when I am awake when I really want to just be asleep! I know that I should just enjoy the quiet of the house before everyone wakes up but I would much rather be cuddled next to my sweetie sound asleep. We did have a wonderful day yesterday. We all slept in and Marshall and I woke up to the girls cleaning the kitchen and Brittany made us coffee! Sometimes it amazes me how grown up they are. Brittany is already bugging me to let her highlight her hair! I think that 10 years old is a little young for that! Don't you? I told her I would go to the mall and try to find her temporary stuff that would wash out, you know the stuff I mean? It looks like mascara and comes in gold, blue and red highlights. I think she would have fun playing with it and hopefully it will make her forget that she is growing up way too fast! lol

We were missing my dad's wonderful breakfast burritos that he made for us while we were there so Marshall and I attempted to make them together. They came out so yummy! We have decided to make them a Sunday tradition. After cleaning the kitchen we watched a movie with the kids and just kinda hung out. Marshall pulled out the board games and we spent the day playing games and eating popcorn. A nice, lazy Sunday. Don't you just love them? :-)

Before I forget I just wanted to thank you for my candles!! They are all so yummy!! Don't worry my mom was taking care of my mail while I was gone so there was no "melting blueberry muffins wax seeping down" my front steps. lol Your auctions are making me want to shop again! As soon as I recover from our vacation I will be sending you another order. :-)