I had all kinds of fun stuff to post about the bachelor party last night but I think I've embarrassed John enough! ROFL I will just say that his night on the town even outdid my bachelorette party and I had an impromptu ~down to the boxers~ strip tease at the I-Beam (our local "alternative" bar) by three very gorgeous but very gay guys. So if his night was even crazier than mine I'm sure you can use your imagination! ROFL

We took the kids out to eat as our last night as a family before wedding guests arrive and things get really busy. We had a wonderful evening and then we came home and guess what I found sitting right inside my door? A beautiful, gorgeous basket of flowers from Liz!!! OMG, what a wonderful surprise!! Aren't they beautiful?! Thank you so so much Liz! Our wedding day will be filled with friends and family and I hope you know that even though you aren't here in person, you will be in my heart just like you are right there next to me! And the same goes for you too! :-)

I didn't plan to take the above picture it just came out that way as I was taking pictures of our flowers. I just had to share, it seemed fitting to show a picture of John's mom and dad. Aren't they good looking? :-) They were married over 55 years before John's mom passed away.

Thank you again for thinking of us Liz it really means a lot to both of us! ((((((HUGS))))))

All I can say is at least I had the decency to drag my butt to bed after my bachelorette party!

I got home around 2am after my limo run last night, Jessica went home and I undressed (I already hate that tuxedo, it is way too hot!), did the usual nightly ritual of teeth brushing and face washing and then went to bed to read a book listening for you-know-who to come stumbling down the stairs. I have no idea what time I fell asleep but I do know that I left the lamp on so that somebody didn't fall onto the floor as they missed the bed. I woke up at 7am with the light giving me a headache (I HATE sleeping with lights on) and an empty bed.

I wish I could say that I turned off the light and went back to sleep, unfortunately, I have to admit that I jumped out of bed freaked out that our party boy wasn't home. I ran to the bathroom to see if he had passed out there, I even checked in Anthony's room before I called my mom's house to see if she was home. Why would I do that? Because my mom threw his bachelor party. ROFL I didn't have time to explain it all yesterday. See, John's best man is his brother-in-law who has been very busy and didn't have time to throw a party. To be honest, John doesn't have many friends, he isn't what you would call a "people person", he pretty much dislikes everybody equally. LOL So my mom and a few select people (I have no idea who) rented a limo and took the groom-to-be out on the town. Is it weird to have your future MIL at your bachelor party? Not if it's MY mom. She parties better than anyone I know and I'm sure he had a very wild night complete with stripper bar.

Okay, back to this morning, I call my mom's house to see if she is home. Bill answers and says, "No, she isn't home". So I do what a normal person would do, I panic! I start to go outside to see if the limo is there in one piece but before I get to the door, the phone rings and it is Bill, he found my mom sleeping in the spare room. I of course demand that he wakes her up because I want to know what in the hell she did to my future husband! As he is waking her up I am walking outside to see if maybe he has passed out on the front step, or in the limo, or something! My head is starting to throb, am I pissed off or worried? I'm really not sure. Finally, my mom comes to the phone to tell me that the love of my life is passed out in her basement after spending the last part of the night (or should I say early part of the morning) with his head in the toilet. ROFLMAO My poor mom, wait a minute I'm sure she had something to do with it! My mom didn't want to send him home that way so she took care of him for me, wasn't that sweet? What a way to bond with your future mother in law! hehe I don't think I even want to know what went on last night, I'm just glad he's in one piece and now I can give him major shit because he insisted as he walked out the door last night that he wasn't going to drink until he was sick. Yeah right! ROFL

I have a busy day today, first I am off to take Britt to her last acting workshop. Today they are giving a performance which should be fun, then I get to pick up my tuxedo, hopefully it will finally be here because I have my first limo run tonight! I also have been trying to get my carpets shampooed and Jessica is stopping by to watch the kids tonight because while I am at the casino John is having his bachelor party. I'm sure I'll have lots to post tomorrow! ROFL....wanna bet he drags his sorry butt home to spend the rest of the night in the bathroom next to the toilet?! Sorry sweetie, but we both know when it comes to drinking you just can't handle it, the last time you drank was on your birthday and we both know how that went. Or did you forget? How 'bout a reminder....hmmm? ROFL Does being on the side of the road, hanging on to the rear end of the car with your head in the ditch ring any bells? How about the flashing police lights of the state trooper who pulled up behind us to see if everything was ok? Still not recalling huh? ROFLMAO I'm sure Jenny remembers since she is the one who picked us up and gave us a ride and had to explain the situation to the police officer in her pajamas! hehe Sorry honey, you know I'm only kidding, I hope you have lots and lots of fun tonight! :-)

Oh and here is my Friday Five
When was the last time you...

1. ...sent a handwritten letter? I recently sent out all of my thank you notes for all of the lovely gifts I received for my bachelorette party, does that count? Oh, and a few months ago I sent a letter to Sandy, my best friend since 8th grade who doesn't have email and lives in Wyoming.

2. ...baked something from scratch or made something by hand?I think Christmas was the last time I baked something from scratch when the kids and I baked tons of cookies, the rest of the time I am lazy and bake stuff out of a box.

3. ...camped in a tent? Wow, it's been awhile. I would guess not since '93, Brittany was only a couple of years old and Jorge (exhusband) and I went camping with my dad for Father's Day. We were in Colorado and it was one of the best Father's Days I can remember, we really should do the camping thing more often but when we go to the lakes here we stay in John's family's lake cabin so there is no need for a tent because there we have a nice comfy bed to sleep in.

4. ...volunteered your time to church, school, or community? I co-lead Danielle's Brownie troop, so I spend every other Tuesday at her school with fourteen energetic 2nd and 3rd graders. I am also always there for school parties and although I don't make it as often as I would like, I do attend occasional PTO meetings. Once in a while I am a "Monday Morning" mom, which is a group of mom's who hang out together in the gym and do whatever projects the teachers leave for us like bulletin boards, making booklets, little projects they don't have time for. I seem to spend a lot of time coloring there. It's actually quite fun. :-)

5. ...helped a stranger? Last week an older woman pulled into my driveway driving a mini van and asked if I could help her figure out her air conditioner. I showed her how to work it and she went happily on her way.

I woke up early this morning (5am) and sobbed through the last few chapters of Ya-Ya Sisterhood. I love this book! It has really made me think about things that have been at the surface of my mind that I have pushed back for years. What is it about mom's and daughters that can rip out your heart at the same time that it soothes your soul? How can you love someone and hate them at the same time? What unforgivable sins am I committing now that my daughters will hold against me for the rest of their lives, or should I say my life?

Reading this book takes me back to last summer when my mom's sisters made a visit. That was the first and only time I had spent with all of them together with me as an adult and for some strange reason I had never felt more like a child. Many nights were spent until the wee hours of the morning drinking beer as I listened to them spin the tales of the past. Listening as their spanish tumbled over their english as they took me back to the past. Watching them cry over the mental and physical abuse (dare I use that word?) that they lived through growing up in a dysfunctional family with a cold mother and an abusive father. They laughed over the memories even as the tears still ran down their face. Comparing my childhood to theirs I was blessed but how many years from now will I sit at a table with my own children sharing a beer as I cry over the sorrows of my childhood? Do we cry because the past is so terrible, or is it because no matter how terrible the past is we still yearn for our childhood. The one that we lived through and the one that never was.

I wish to share childhood memories with my own sister but she has no memory of our childhood. Was it really so bad that she blocked it out? Was it so unimportant to her that she no longer wishes to remember? I wish we could compare notes, do you remember hiding in the closet while our parents fought? Do you remember me promising to take you away from all of the fighting and drinking? Do you remember me trying to cover your face with a pillow because your snoring was so loud I couldn't hear every cruel and bitter word that was hurled between our parents and I just knew that if I missed a sentence, if I didn't hear everything going on something bad would happen. Something worse than laying on the cold floor, curled up next to my door as I heard the sound of my mom's head knocking against the thin plywood wall of the cramped trailer we lived in as dad hit her. Did you sleep so sound because you knew that the nights were for our mother's torture just as the days were for ours?

As an adult I can reason out the lashes of the belt against my body as a way for a tired, confused and hurt woman to have some control in her life. I can hear the bitter words and know they weren't really directed at me but more towards her own broken soul. As a child there was no understanding as to what I had done so horribly wrong to deserve the feel of the lash as the leather belt stung across my legs, the feel of the buckle meeting the middle of my back. My mom and I have talked about the past in guarded conversations, we have come to an understanding. We love each other more than life itself, we have shared things that I could never put down on paper, they are held secret in my heart sometimes bringing me to tears sometimes making me wish for just a moment I could be the adult, I could be the one to comfort my mom as I was never comforted. I have gone through my life holding secrets close, never wanting to deal with the pain they would cause.

As I read this book it brought them all crashing down on me as my life intertwined with Vivi's and Sidda's. My family might have been eating enchilada's instead of crawfish but the story is the same. The hurt is the same just as the joy is the same. I have realized that there are things I may never understand, questions that may never be answered. I want to go to this movie with my sister and my mom, I went to sit in the dark with tears streaming down my face as I watch my life on the screen. I want to sit next to my sister as she cries for the memories she no longer carries with her and most of all I want to sit next to my mother as she cries for the past, not for my lost childhood but rather for her own because no matter what I had to go through I know that I have a mom and a dad who love me more than anything in the world and that is more than my mom will ever be able to say. As a mom I have made mistakes, just as all mom's have made mistakes, but I hope that when the time comes, that when my own daughters are mommy's they will look back to the past with a grain of salt and know that I did the best I could as a mom and as a person. I hope the Ya-Ya blood in my veins passes down to them binding them close to me even as they wish to break away.

On my wedding day I will be surrounded by my family, the people I love the most who have the power to hurt me the most, I will be starting a new chapter in my life but I will never forget the old one. Someday I will take it out and share it with my grandchildren, I will show them the person I was and hopefully be able to live with the person I grow to be. Isn't that all any of us can ask for?

Okay, believe it or not, I really do have other things to do, but I am doing what I do best. Procrastinate. The more time I spend here the less time I have to freak out that there is only ONE WEEK left until the wedding! Okay, I am not stressing out (much), I am just going to pretend that I don't see that stupid little countdown on the side of my page and I am going to just sit here and waste what little time I have left before I am skipping down that freakin aisle! ROFLMAO <~~ I am not laughing because it is funny, but rather because I am getting a bit hysterical! Can you tell? hehe Anyways.... here are some things I just know you just can't wait to know about me!

10 Bands You've Seen Live
1. The Eagles
2. Metallica
3. Bush
4. No Doubt
5. Poison
6. REO Speedwagon
7. Van Halen
8. Styx
9. Beach Boys (do they count?)
10. The Judds (I was 14 and forced to go with my mom)

9 Things You're Looking Forward To
1. My wedding
2. My brother and dad getting here for the wedding
3. Our honeymoon
4-9 Umm...ok, I know there are supposed to be like 6 more of these things, but to be honest, I can't seem to think past the wedding! lol So, let's just skip this one for now.

8 Things You Wear Daily
1. My engagement ring
2. My diamond heart necklace from John
3. My gold bracelet from my brother
4. Mango Mandarin lotion from Bath & Body Works
5. Secret deodorant
6. Moisturizer
7. A pushup bra (hey, I've breastfed 3 children!)
8. Contact lenses

7 Things That Annoy You
1. Road construction
2. Mosquito bites
3. My stupid chair that squeaks
4. Bad hair days
5. Junk mail
6. The fact that I am always late
7. The sound of someone chewing on ice

6 Things You Touch Every Day
1. My keyboard
2. The steering wheel to my van
3. John *wicked grin*
4. The coffee pot
5. My CD changer
6. The mailbox

5 Things You Do Every Day
1. Eat dinner as a family
2. Talk to my mom
3. Take a shower
4. Play with the kids
5. Check email

4 People You'd Want to Spend More Time With or Hang out With
1. Gilly
2. Addie
3. John
4. My dad

3 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over
1. American Pie
2. Pulp Fiction
3. There's Something About Mary

2 Of Your Favorite Songs At This Moment
1. Eminem ~ Without Me
2. Avril Lavigne ~ Complicated

1 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With
1. John.......this had better be the right answer considering we have only 7 days to change our minds! lol

Above questions swiped from Laura who found them elsewhere

I am covered in mosquito bites! I look like I have the freakin chicken pox! Thank goodness there aren't any on my face, but my legs have been eaten alive! I am NOT doing any more yard work. I am done, no more! I haven't been online much, just working on wedding stuff. Everything is actually done. I just have to pick up my dress from the cleaners next week.......OMG, I take that back. I keep forgetting to drop off the marriage license with the pastor so that his secretary can get it ready. I was supposed to have it there last week, but I got lost trying to find the church and just gave up. I was hoping to not have to go into town today but I guess not. At least John fixed the air conditioning in the van because it is way too hot outside.

The girls are getting excited to go visit their dad, I am already dreading it. I hate when they leave, it is so quiet and the house seems so empty. He hasn't given me the exact date but I think they are leaving a week after the wedding. John and I are going on our honeymoon about a week after they leave. My mom is keeping Anthony and we are going on a roadtrip to Wisconsin. I went on a trip there once when John and I first met and I remember thinking how much he would enjoy it. I love roadtrips, we have never been on one just the two of us so I am very excited. :-)

Okay, I just had to do this, stolen from Laura. I went to Google and typed in "Lisa is" and this is what I came up with, other than of course the porno sites.....there sure are a lot of porno stars named Lisa! lol If you try your own name be sure and keep the quotes around it when you do your search.

Lisa is a loser

Lisa is part of NASA's Structure and Evolution of the Universe

Lisa is currently working on her third Forgotten Realms project

Lisa is Editor-in-Chief of eLearn

Lisa is an international non-profit organization

Lisa is likely to revolutionise the world of wealth

Lisa is not a match-making service

Lisa is perhaps currently alive

Lisa is forever smiling, Mona Lisa that is :-)

Lisa is a festival

Lisa is a valuable reference tool

I seriously could keep going with this but I think you get the point. :-) Thanks for the sweet posts regarding my earlier rant today. I feel much better. It's amazing what a perfectly cooked steak can do for you. I hope you are all having a wonderful night. I'm going to sit on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and read my new book, and yes Liz so far I really like it. (Yes, I notice the countdown and no I am not getting stressed out, well not too much anyway lol) *NiTeNiTe*

I hate this weather, it has been so damn hot and muggy, I could just scream! Everyone has been crabby today, the girls and I are driving each other nuts, only Anthony seems to be happy as he plays with his little train set. We spent the morning in the park and this little bratty kid threw sand in Anthony's eyes, NOT on accident, he just picked it up and before I could grab Anthony, he threw it right in his face. He wasn't a little kid, he was at least 4! I don't know why people can't watch their kids instead of sitting there gossiping with other mom's. The mom just acted like she didn't see anything while Anthony is crying because he can't see. Maybe I overreacted, I don't know, I didn't say anything but I'm sure she knew what I was thinking by the look I gave her. We left shortly after that and then took the girls to get their hair cut. We ran some errands for the wedding and wouldn't you know it, the damn airconditioning in the van decided to stop working. You know, I am about to marry a mechanic! Why does everyone's car seem to get fixed but mine?! Sheesh! So there I was with three kids, trying to get things done as quickly as possible which is of course impossible because every road in this freaking town is under construction! Let's just say my day was less than pleasant! I hate to say this because our summers are short enough here as it is, but I realllly wish it were snowing! Maybe I should just go visit Aimee where it is always Christmas. :-)

John came home and the first thing I said to him was, "Are you sure you want to come in here?" Not a very pleasant greeting lol but he was brave enough to come in. Poor thing. I had to rant and rave about my van not working right among other things, I swear, there are some days I think he must be insane to marry me! lol Anyway, he is now grilling us something to eat and I was told to just sit here and try to relax. It has finally cooled down a bit so we are going to eat out on the deck, hopefully my children are speaking to me now. I really have been unreasonable today, I hate this heat (did I already say that?), there are only nine days left until the wedding, my family will be here later this week, my house is a mess, I have a ton of laundry and on top of that I think I am PMSing. What a lovely day this has been.

Eden, I am speechless over your lovely wedding gift! Thank you so very, very much! Words just aren't enough to thank you for your wonderful friendship, I am so thankful to have you in my life! Thanks again and I Iove you lots and lots!