There is so much on my mind little things like what is going on here today, how much I enjoyed almost half a pint of my favorite ice cream last night, how much I hate going to Dairy Queen because they totally suck and I don't think I am going there again, and larger things like how annoyed I am with certain people in my life, how if they even look at me wrong I just might slap them, I am missing my sister and I am wondering how my brother is doing. There is also stuff going on here in the online world that is bothering me, I wonder how many people REALLY want to know the real people behind the blogs that they read, I know that recently I have posted real stuff, real stuff that hurts and is honestly how I feel and somehow only one person was able to comment on it and that was in an email no less. Don't get me wrong, I don't blog because I want comments, I mean I have been blogging way before blogging got all cute and country. To me blogging isn't about being cute and nice, it's about what is real in my life. Thanks to things said by one of the few people online who REALLY knows me and loves me anyway, I have realized that my blog is turning not exactly to fluff but close. I have started posts and then deleted them because I didn't want to offend anyone. I hate myself for that because if you know me in real life you know that I say what I think and I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me. I have hidden myself behind cute little cuddly graphics and I am ready to make myself puke. But, my point is that I don't have time to get into it right now because I have a three year old who wants my attention, a house full of kitties that I need to find homes for and a tuxedo to put on so that I can transport a group of people to a concert.

Yes, I love cute country graphics and my house is filled with teddy bears and all things country but I am so much more than cute, country things, I am a mom, I am a wife, I am a wonderful lover and I enjoy sex more than I was raised to enjoy it, I hate to cook, I am a bitch when you piss me off and I cry during sad movies, I listen to loud rap music that rattles the windows in my minivan, I try not to swear in front of my children but sorry sometimes "darn" just doesn't cut it when someone cuts you off in traffic and then flips you off because you are in "their" way, I hate shopping and I love spending an entire day doing nothing but reading a good book, I drive limousines, I hate making my bed, I am the best mom, daughter and wife that I can be but I can be selfish, bratty, mean, nasty and ugly for no reason other than that I feel like it. I have never written in this blog to please others, if you look through my archives you will see that I have shown my true self again and again. I hate the fact that I feel as if I have been sugar coating my life, watching my language, hoping I don't step on any toes. The more I think about it the more pissed off I get at myself. This is me, this is my life, you may not always agree with what I say but at least you will always know that it is real. Don't worry, I don't expect anyone to comment about this post. It's kinda like a train wreck, you can't help but look and be thankful that it isn't you but if anyone should happen to see you watching you quickly look away. After all it has nothing to do with you, hopefully your life will never feel like a train wreck but if it does I hope you have the strength to live through it and don't feel too bad when people pretend like they don't see it. It's just human nature after all.