My poor blog is so neglected, it gives me an evil look every time I log onto my computer, which lately hasn't been very often. There is so much going on here; I don't even know where to start. Most of it is just every day stuff, going to PTO meetings, Back-to-School night, Brittany's class had a car wash to raise funds for our local fire department the week of September 11th, Danielle was given a project to work on called "all about me" which is 50 pages long, Anthony is just Anthony driving me nuts. John and I are doing well, when we actually have time to spend together that is. I drove limo's all weekend and we are looking forward to spending the day together today. The girls spent the night with my sister and the morning was peaceful as John, Anthony and I cuddled up in our bed with a box of dry cereal and mugs of hot coffee.

So here's the thing, there is a reason why I haven't blogged. Amidst all of the normal everyday chaos of my life, I have had something on my mind that I wasn't ready to share because I didn't know for sure what if anything was happening and I didn't know for sure how I felt about it. Do you remember me posting recently about my major PMS mood swing? Well guess what? The PMS was there but it wasn't followed by my period. I hate to admit it but I have never really been very good at keeping track of my cycle. I don't write it down and as my life is always so hectic I completely forget when my last one was and just depend on my body to tell me when it is on its way. So with the major mood swings I assumed it was time to start and when it didn't I just assumed that I had estimated my dates wrong.

Another week passed and still no monthly visitor, suddenly I was feeling queasy and waking up in the middle of the night to go pee which I never ever do. I just knew I was pregnant and at the same time a little voice was telling me that I was only imagining the symptoms because although I am not on birth control pills John and I are always VERY careful because we obviously already have our hands full with three children. So for the next week I worried about being pregnant, we have discussed it and agreed that we are not ready to have a baby right now and really don't know if we want to have more children. To John, Anthony is his son and neither of us has felt the need to have more.

So I have silently worried about what would we do, how could we afford it, etc. Finally I couldn't take the stress anymore and I had John buy me a home pregnancy test. I took it right away and guess what? It was negative!! So what was my first reaction? I burst into tears! Suddenly I WANTED to be pregnant, I wanted another baby, I wanted to experience having a baby that was part of both John and myself. I couldn't explain my tears to John who thought I would be happy to not be pregnant. I still don't know how I feel about all of this and on top of all of that I still have NOT had my period. I'm sure that I will start soon, I mean those tests are hardly ever wrong. I have a second test hidden under the sink, which I will use if I haven't started in a week or two. I mean I couldn't have estimated my period that far off could I? Sheesh. I swear, once I start I am going to write it down every single damn month, this is way too stressful! lol

Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend and on Monday I hope to be able to sit down and visit all of my daily reads which have been sadly neglected lately. Thank you all for continuing to visit me even though I haven't been the greatest of company!! Have a great day! *S*