Tuesday, May 08, 2001

Marshall handed me the newspaper yesterday. It was the page of wedding announcements. I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to be looking for until I saw an announcement with his last name in it. His son is getting married. His son has refused to talk to him since Marshall's ex wife left him. I have never met his children and probably never will, they have no desire to have any contact with their dad or anyone in his family thanks to vicious lies told to them by their mom.

I must be honest and say that when we first met I was slightly wary of stories told to me by Marshall regarding his exwife. I mean, what person is ever completely honest when it comes to their ex? Stories told are always the ones that make the ex out to be the bad guy not the other way around. It wasn't until talking to Marshall's parents and sisters that I was able to see the whole picture about what kind of person his ex wife is.

As to what really happened between Marshall and his ex wife, I have no desire to know. But what I do know is that he is an incredible dad to Anthony and a wonderful step dad to my daughters and I feel so guilty because his kids will probably never see that side to him. All they see is the evil man their mother painted for them. Who does that to their kids? No matter how horrible a man is as a husband you don't make your kids pay for that by filling them with hate for their father. My own dad was not so good as a husband to my mom, he was at times physically abusive, but NEVER did she fill us with hate towards him not even during their ugly, bitter divorce. I know Marshall, I know what kind of person he is and I know how much it hurts him to not be a part of his kids life. How much it hurt him to look at that wedding announcement and see his son's picture, grown, handsome and to know that he will probably never be a part of his son's life.

"We should go," he jokingly said
"How about we send some money?" I answered
"Yeah, we will do that," he answered as he set the paper down and walked away.

I wish I could talk to his kids, I wish I could tell them what a wonderful person their father is. But they would hate me. I'm not much older than they are, their own mother could be my mother. So I sit here feeling guilty because their father is now the father to my son. Maybe someday they will realize that not all of the truths they believe are factual, maybe someday they will think of their dad not with hate but with curiosity and contact him, maybe someday they will see that he is a person who loves them.

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