My brother is coming home soon!! I am so excited, I haven't seen him since July. He is stationed in Washington on the USS Abraham Lincoln. He will be here on Sunday. He will only be here a week, which means of course that his visit will go by way too fast!

Tonight we are going to a school carnival and silent auction at the kids school. They always have good stuff at the auction. I'll let you know if I get anything good. :-) Have a great weekend!!

I can't stop listening to this CD. Last Friday was Marshall's birthday (Happy Birthday honey!) and we went out to Rick's and guess who was playing? My friend Dave's band (we used to work together before he was famous hehe), who I have always wanted to see play but had never actually seen in person. I had so much fun! They were awesome! It was also nice to run into Julia so that I had someone to dance with seeing as how Marshall was "slightly" intoxicated thanks to Brian and Gene. :-)

Oh, I had this phone call from my dad on Monday night. It went something like this...

~Dad~ How have you been? How are the kids? (Etc...)

~me~ Fine, good, getting big, (Etc...)

~Dad~ Oh, by the way, I went to Reno this weekend and Michelle (long term girlfriend) and I got married.

~me~ .........

LOL.......I'm very happy for my Dad but sheesh, he could have warned me!!

Since I am doing this at work I guess I should ask you all to visit our website: Headlights to Taillights
Thanks, now I won't feel so guilty! :-)

I doubt if anyone is still reading this, but if you are, let me apologize for just disappearing. I went into shock along with the rest of this country after 9/11. I couldn't really process what was happening and everything I did other than caring for my family seemed so trivial. Shortly after that I switched banks, which closed my account that paid for my internet. I haven't had internet since and it is driving me nuts! :-)

Right now I am doing this from work so I am trying to hurry. I am hoping to have internet again soon, until then I will try to stop in every now and then and say hi. If you need to reach me you can email me at work autoparts@nbinternet.com please send "Attn: Lisa" in the subject line. I haven't had time to catch up with my regular email, so if you have emailed me and I haven't answered I am sorry. Thank you for understanding.

I plan to open Seasons of Country and Inferno Dezigns as soon as I can. Thank you for your patience and for all of the concern you have expressed about how I am doing. I miss you all very much and I can't wait to get back! Until then I will keep you posted here. :-)

Last night I knew what I was going to blog about this morning. Major excitement about the Denver Broncos winning Monday night football and bitching about stupid shit going on in my life. I spent the morning getting the kids ready for school, getting ready for work, finding shoes and signing homework papers. In the midst of all my mundane crap thousands of people lost their lives in a way that has left me speechless and in shock all day. I have cried, I have worried for my little brother who is in the US Navy, I have been mad and scared and have tried to find the words to explain to my children the how and why of something that there is no resonable explanation to. I think I am still in shock, I know that soon it will set in and I am hoping that I will be able to grieve for my country and for the loss of the security that I have always felt living in the greatest country in the world. I am proud to be American and tomorrow as I see our flags flying at half mast I will cry for those who we have lost but I will also feel a sense of pride for my great country that will overcome this tragedy. Tonight I am praying for strength for my country, for those who serve and protect it and for those who have been touched personally by these tragic losses today. May God Bless you all and may God Bless America.

Work is fun, I really enjoy it. I am learning something new every day and it is fun to be working with Marshall again. We work so well together and of course working together is what brought us together in the first place. The kids are all adjusting very well. I am running out the door because I have to fill in today for someone who needed the day off. I won't be working many weekends but I don't mind once in awhile. I just wanted to stop in and say have a great weekend!

What a wonderful day! Let's see, I wake up to Danielle throwing up at 5:30 this morning. She managed to make it most of the way down the stairs before she got sick. I didn't want to send her to school but I didn't want to miss a day of work my first week! After we gave her a shower and got her cleaned up she laid on the couch. I feel like such a horrible mother. I can deal with every possible illness or circumstance but vomit I just can't do. I had to wake up Marshall to help me clean it up otherwise I would have been sick too. Ick. Thank goodness he loves me so much! lol After she slept until 7:30 am she decided (after I got ahold of my mom to watch her for me) that she felt well enough to go to school. I really didn't want to send her but she wanted to go and she didn't have a fever so I just sent a note to her teacher and crossed my fingers that she would be ok.

I drop Anthony off at day care and the day care woman's son wasn't feeling well. He didn't have a fever or anything so I didn't worry about it. I was at work maybe 2 hours when I got a phone call that the little boy had vomited and was breaking out in spots! Since it is easier for Marshall to leave work he went to pick up Anthony and thank goodness my mom didn't work today so that she could watch him. We still don't know what is wrong with him, she is taking him to the doctor tomorrow morning which means of course that she can't watch him. Hopefully he better soon and I hope it's not contagious. I had to find back-up day care for Anthony tomorrow.....thanks Jason. :-)

After work it is time to pickup Anthony from my mom's and take him for shots. He is behind and so has to catch up. He had four shots today, two in each arm. He was NOT happy! He kicked the poor nurse and I could barely hold him down. Next time Marshall gets to take him! I felt so bad, I wanted to cry more than he did! Poor baby. He was fine by the time we got to the car but I still feel bad. I have to take him in two more months for one more shot and then he will be done until he is four. Next time I take him for shots I'll be sure to not put a white shirt on him! Sheesh!

Brittany now tells me that she has a recycling project due tomorrow and she thought it was due next week which means nothing is done. My mom left her car in town yesterday so now I have to go pick it up, Marshall has to work on limo's all night and I have a ton of laundry to do. And how was your day?! :-)

Oh here's something cute I forgot to mention. The girl I work with most (her dad owns the company) is very sweet. I know I'm going to love working with her. She has been working with Marshall for some time now and he is the person she talks to when she is upset about whatever. He is such an easy person to talk to I completely understand and he has many female friends that use him as their sounding board. I guess if I was insecure in myself or in our relationship I would be jealous but I'm not because I know that I always come first. Besides most of my friends are guys so I guess it's a good thing I don't have a problem with it. lol

Anyway, this girl was so concerned that it was going to bother me that she talked to Marshall about it and asked him if I was going to be upset by her being friends with him. He started laughing because he knows that I am not jealous and of course reassured her that I was not going to be bothered by their friendship. He mentioned it to me at lunch and I thought it was funny but sweet. Later in the afternoon while her and I were working in the office she brought it up. She said as seriously sweet and sincere as she could be, "I just want you to know, and no offense to you, but he is just NOT my type, I mean he's just not my type." I really had to bite my lip so that I didn't laugh hysterically. It was just so funny. So when I told Marshall about it tonight he was like.......oh thanks a lot for crushing my ego.

It's okay honey.......you're still my type. hehe

First day was so incredibly fun. There are so many things to do there and I will constantly be busy which is what I need. The webpage stuff actually won't take up much time. The most time consuming part of that job will be taking the pictures and uploading them. Anyway the day was fun and I only pissed one person off today. Not to worry, I have a feeling she won't be there much longer. *evil grin*

Anthony's first day of day care went well other than the crying he did as I was walking out the door. I was very proud of myself, I didn't cry until I got to the car! Can you believe that I forgot my planner which had the day care number in it?! I remembered as soon as I got in the car but I didn't want to go back and ask for it and upset him more. So I had to go the entire day without calling! When I picked him up he was having fun and of course that made me feel much better! She said that he only cried a minute and he was great the rest of the day. I knew he would be! lol

So all in all it was a wonderful first day for both of us and now I am off to clean the kitchen, do a load of laundry and pass out due to a lack of sleep.

First day of work for me and day care for Anthony and I am a nervous wreck! I couldn't sleep worth shit last night because I kept laying there thinking of all of the shit I should have got done but didn't do. Yesterday was spent frantically cleaning the house. For some reason I just couldn't start work with my kitchen cupboards a mess, so I pulled everything out and scrubbed them from top to bottom. Still so much to do around here but I will have to get to it later. The girls just walked out the door to school and now it is my turn. Wish me luck. :-)

I am starting to feel extremely nervous at the thought of going to work. My list of inventory numbers I am supposed to go over are sitting on my desk glaring at me because I have as of yet to still pick them up. Beneath them is a little "quiz" to get me familiar with the most frequently used numbers. Last night Marshall asked me if I had looked at them yet and I blew up at him. I went on and on about how it is MY job and just because he happens to work there doesn't mean that it has anything to do with him. I think I said something like if I screw up it is a reflection on me and not on him so not to worry about it. He looks at me with this blank look on his face and says "where did THAT come from?" lol.....honestly I have no freakin clue. Thankfully he is very understanding and just gave me a hug and went about making dinner. I hate first days. I always have. Once it's over I will feel so much better.

Anthony and I went back to the daycare on Friday and he had a chance to play. We went in the late afternoon and I was able to meet some of the other mom's as they picked up their little ones. They all were really chatty and friendly with the daycare lady so that made me feel good. I am still nervous over that too. Please, please, please let Tuesday be over soon! lol

I am going to miss you! Sorry I didn't call you back the other day but I didn't know if there were "issues" you need to deal with. Ya know? I'll call in a few days when I think you are a little more settled. I got my candles yesterday! They are absolutely yummy! Anthony keeps wanting to eat the cupcakes! lol I love you and you know what? You WILL get through this! :-) I am sooo proud of you.

The visit to the daycare yesterday went well. The only problem I see is that she has a little boy who is Anthony's age and is also new. He was very aggressive. Hitting the other kids and taking away their snacks. Hopefully he is just acting out due to the new environment. I am going to meet with her again on Friday and see how he is adjusting before I put Anthony in. I am just worried that she will not be able to control this little boy. The rest of the kids are adorable, she has 4 total right now and Anthony would make five. Two of the ones she has now are full time (one of them is her own) and two are part time. She was very nice and I enjoyed visiting with her. It was interesting to watch Anthony interact with all the kids. He loves babies but he did NOT like that little boy. I was proud of him though. When that boy hit him Anthony did not hit him back but he did yell at the little boy to stop. I know he can defend himself, he has two big sisters who pick on him all the time. He never hesitates to hit them but I guess he was able to tell the difference between hitting his sisters and hitting another little kid. Hopefully Friday will go well because I start work next Tuesday.

The girls had a wonderful 1st day of school. Danielle came home and said, "Mrs. Rudolph is soooooooo cool!" lol As soon as they came home it was off to piano lessons. Brittany has been taking piano but it was Danielle's first lesson. She really liked it. They have to practice at my mom's house because we don't have a piano and it's such a pain in the ass to take them over there just to practice. Marshall's sister (Hi Verlee) might have a piano we could use with the condition that if Marshall and I split up he gets to keep it. :-) Sheesh, we're not even married and we already have to plan who gets what in the case of a divorce. hehe

I think I may have found Anthony a daycare. We are going to stop by there this afternoon so that I can talk to her some more and so that we can see how Anthony interacts with the other kids. She is very reasonable and is licensed. It is ran out of her home and she doesn't have too many kids which is nice. There is a little boy Anthony's age so hopefully he will make a new friend. I really think this will be good for him. He needs to play with kids other than his big sisters who drive him crazy. I am still very nervous about this but hopefully it will all go well.

I am also getting nervous about my new job. Did I mention that I will be working with Marshall? Except for now I have to get used to calling him John (Marshall is his middle name). He came home yesterday with a huge printout of all of the inventory numbers that I will need to know. When I started working at the truck stop I knew absolutely nothing about trucks or truck repair and now I can look at any truck and tell you what kind of filters they use for oil changes and I know more than I will ever need to know about truck tires. This can't be any harder but I am still nervous. The webpage stuff will be easy but I also will need to know how to run the front counter and find parts in the system etc. It will be fun to work with Marshall again but I did make him promise me last night that we won't talk about work too much at home. I would hate for that to be our only topic of conversation! lol

Oh, I almost forgot, I got the job. I start the Tuesday after labor day. So I guess I need to find Anthony a daycare. I am really nervous about it but at the same time excited. I think it will be good for all of us. I really need to get out of this house more, I am driving myself (and everyone around me) crazy. I miss working and of course the extra money will be nice. I am of course most worried about Anthony. He has never been in daycare, I think it will be good for him, but I will be so sad to have someone else watch my baby. He really does need to play with other kids though. He is way too attached to me and Marshall. Damn I am starting to feel guilty!

Today is the girls' first day back to school! They were so excited. It is so quiet here. All week I kept saying how I was so ready for them to go back to school but now that they are gone it is just too quiet. :-( Even Anthony is quiet, it's as if he doesn't know what to do without his big sisters. I hope they have a wonderful day today and I can't wait to hear how everything goes.


Brittany (5th grade) and Danielle (2nd grade)

They were not too thrilled with me taking their pictures this morning. We live right across the street from the school and so all of the kids can see me outside taking their pictures. Brittany was especially embarrassed when the boy she has a crush on rode by on his bike. I kept telling them that I am not the only mom taking pictures today but of course when it is your mom doing it, it is more embarrassing. Sheesh......they are lucky I didn't walk to school with them and take their pictures as they hang up their backpacks and sit at their desks! lol

What a long day yesterday turned out to be. All day shopping with three kids, lots of other moms shopping at the last minute, I still had the limo calls on my cell phone, plus it was so hot I think we were all melting. We did buy tennis shoes and found some really cute clothes here. The girls found so many clothes that they liked that I ended up buying half and putting the other half on layaway for when I get the next child support check. Hopefully it will actually arrive on time next month. We couldn't get in to get Brittany's hair done so we have to go back to the mall this afternoon. She still hasn't chickened out.

After an entire day of shopping I had to hurry back home because Danielle had to be at a pool party for her Brownie troop. At least it was nice enough for them to swim and it was nice to talk to the mom's that I only see during the school year.

Marshall came home and brought me a job application. I haven't really been looking for work but they need help in the office where he works with their web page. The web page is all set up, basically I would be adding new product photos and answering emails. There would also be bookkeeping and other stuff. I filled out the application but I doubt if I will get it because I think I asked for more than they are willing to pay. It would be nice though. I think I am really getting sick of being at home all the time. I have been really bitchy lately, maybe if I worked out of the house I would be in a better mood. My hours would be flexible and I wouldn't have to work weekends so we'll see how it goes. Having extra money is never a bad thing, especially since Christmas will be here before I even know it.

It took a few days but we are all finally dealing better with the loss of our kitty. Thanks to all of you for the kind words and emails. I am still shocked at how hard I took it. I mean, of course it is hard on kids but I was crying like a baby. We never had pets growing up so I've never dealt with this either. Part of me was saying.....get over it Lisa, it's just a cat but the other part of me wouldn't listen and just kept crying. We thought about getting another kitty but have decided that we don't want another one right now, maybe we'll think about it later.

Today is another school shopping day. We are also going to do haircuts and Brittany has decided for sure that she wants a perm. I am so nervous. I don't want her to hate it and I'm afraid she's gonna walk out of there crying. Let's just hope that it all goes well and that she loves it. There is nothing worse than starting school with hair you hate. Maybe I will talk her out of it, I'm still not sure. I'll let you know how it goes. School starts Monday.......I am feeling so unprepared!

We had a kitty funeral for Gypsy today. Marshall found a little wooden box and he wrapped her in a soft towel and put her in the box. The box was so tiny it broke my heart. We buried her in the corner of the back yard underneath a small tree. Danielle found some flowers to place on top and we all talked about our favorite memories of her. It's hard to believe how many there were because we have had her less than two weeks. But she was so cute and cuddly and had her own little personality. We all loved her and will all miss her. Hopefully the funeral will help the kids say goodbye.

Our little kitty died today. The girls both cried all afternoon. I have no idea how to deal with this. I have no idea why she died, if she was sick or maybe just too little to be away from her mom. We have never had a pet die other than a goldfish which wasn't as big of a deal. I am completely at a loss as to what to do right now. I have hugged them, talked to them, but how do you make it right? I am the mommy and I am supposed to fix things, it is a horrible feeling to not be able to fix this. The kitty is in a box in the bathroom right now, I don't know what else to do. Marshall is still at work......I hope he comes home soon. I just don't feel capable of dealing with this alone. We had named the kitty this weekend, her name was Gypsy. I never took a picture of her. Damn I feel like shit right now.