John has to work for half a day today and then we are on our way. He had to go in to get his check and hopefully will be able to get out of there easily. I still have a few things to do........like pack! ROFL Procrastination is my middle name. Yesterday I was looking for ideas on helping to clear clutter mostly in Anthony's room and I came across a message board which led me here. All I can say is that the photos there are more than disturbing. They made me physically ill. I didn't know people could live like that. Very, very scary! I don't know if I will have time to post later so if I don't I'll say goodbye now, see you when we get back. :-) Before I head out I'll leave you with my Friday Five:

1. How long have you had a weblog?
I have had a blog since November 1, 2000

2. What was your first post about?
Nothing too exciting, Anthony had scattered Q-tips all over the bathroom. Wow.....I probably put my very first readers to sleep! ROFL

3. How many changes (name, location, etc.) of your weblog have there been, if more than one?
I have only had a slight name change, I went from "Lisa's Family Roadtrip" to just "roadtrip". As for location I started my blog on Geocities and then transferred it over to my infernodezigns server due to problems with Geocities. I have only changed graphics 3 times. Isn't that sad? I read so many blogs that change graphics like they change underwear. I enjoy their changes but I just don't have the time or energy to do that. Besides to be honest, I hate change.

4. What CMS (content management system) do you use? Do you like it or do you want to try something else?
I have always used Blogger, once again lazy and afraid of change.

5. Do you read people who have both a journal and a weblog? Or do you prefer to read people who have all of their writing in one central place?
You know I never really thought about it. I thought they were one and the same. Silly me, I guess I am totally missing out on an entire loop of reading. lol Hopefully most of my daily reads keep their stuff in one central place. If I had to categorize what I read I would say I mostly read journals.

I spent way too much time here this morning. I have never been there before but found some really fun ideas I can't wait to try when the girls get home. I really love her concept of having to destroy the package to get to the gift. I hate saving wrapping paper/gift bags etc. It drives me nuts when people do that although I have learned to look the other way when John's sisters recycle my gift bags. Now wouldn't it drive them nuts to have to destroy the package to open it? ROFL

As much as I enjoyed the above site I really should get off my ass and get some work done. I have to finish up the laundry so that I can start packing for our honeymoon. Now that I think of it I have no luggage! The girls took all of my bags to California with them! Anyway, it's a honeymoom.......do we really need clothes? hehe

John still thinks that I am going to make a list of where we will be going and things to do etc. I told him I wasn't going to because I don't want a list, I just want to go. But he just snickers because he thinks he knows me so well. Ok, so I confess, I am a list person. I even make a list of every item of clothing the girls take to California so that they don't forget anything. I had detailed lists made for every person in my wedding party so they knew exactly what to do. In fact I cringed at the last wedding I drove limo for because the bride had a handwritten note that everyone was passing around so they knew what to do. Okay, I'm going way off subject. The point is I do NOT necessarily need to make a list and this time I am not going to make one just to prove Mr. I-Know-Everything wrong. And if I just can't take it and break down and make a list anyway, well, I'll just be sure he doesn't see it! ROFL

Only two more days and John and I will be headed to Wisconsin. Every one keeps asking me where we are going. Honestly, we have no plan. We are just going to get in the car and go. For four days we are just going to do whatever we want to do, no cell phones, no limousines, no children, absoultely nothing! Whoohoo :-)

Last night Nathan (limo driver I drove with last Saturday) brought his wife and children over to see the kitties. They picked a calico one. They picked the one that I wanted to keep but didn't because the girls wanted the striped kitty. Oh well, at least I can still go visit. :-( They didn't take her home yet but the kitties should be ready to move out next week. I am already sad about it but I guess I should try to find more homes. I swear if they could stay this little and cuddly I would keep them all! ROFL

Ok, I feel better now. (reference to prior post made earlier today) uummmm.....sometimes there is no point in going to someone and bitching them out, even when you really, really want to. I vent here and can forget about the whole damn thing. There are some people that you can just go around and around with and nothing ever changes. Better to just let it go. I can get my digs in here and then smile serenely when said person pisses me off because I really don't want to start another world war in my family. (speaking of which still haven't heard from my sister, my last email, which I thought was very nice and understanding, has been ignored)

Last night my run to the casino was good. They offered me tickets to the concert they were going to but I didn't really want to go to a concert wearing a tuxedo with people I didn't know. Besides, the concert was George Thorogood ummm sorry I don't think I would pay to see him, lol....hey my ticket was free and I still didn't go. Instead I found a quiet corner and read a book. I got a $50.00 tip.... wooohooo...... plus my wages. Not bad for one night.

Good news about John L. (my new FIL). He had been told a few months ago that he was really sick and they have been measuring one of his arteries fearing an aneurysm which could have been fatal. They told him that he would need surgery but his health wasn't up to having a surgery so they were just going to wait. We were all very worried and anxious because they had to measure it again yesterday. Turns out the original results were from SOMEONE ELSE'S TEST!!! Can you believe that shit? All this worrying for nothing and the poor guy with the bad test was told that he was ok! Sheesh. Anyway, we are of course glad that he is ok.

OMG.....my whole damn post just disappeared. I had this entire post about my stepsister who has really been pissing me off lately. Maybe the thing disappeared for a reason because I was headed towards dangerous ground on issues that don't need to be mentioned here or anywhere else for that matter. Let me just say that I don't like her, she doesn't like me and the further we stay away from each other the better off we are. Although I do have to add that if by chance she happens to read this (because yes I know you have in the past): Leave me the hell alone. Do not come to me crying because your husband wasn't invited to John's bachelor party, I don't want to know that your little feelings are hurt because I looked at you wrong, and I don't give a shit that you "are bitter" over the fact that my daughters have a bedroom in the attic when you want it for yourself. For the record I do NOT go out of my way to hurt you because if I did your whole world would crumble around you. I am sick and tired of hearing that things aren't "fair". Grow up, Leave me alone and we will both be better off.

There is so much on my mind little things like what is going on here today, how much I enjoyed almost half a pint of my favorite ice cream last night, how much I hate going to Dairy Queen because they totally suck and I don't think I am going there again, and larger things like how annoyed I am with certain people in my life, how if they even look at me wrong I just might slap them, I am missing my sister and I am wondering how my brother is doing. There is also stuff going on here in the online world that is bothering me, I wonder how many people REALLY want to know the real people behind the blogs that they read, I know that recently I have posted real stuff, real stuff that hurts and is honestly how I feel and somehow only one person was able to comment on it and that was in an email no less. Don't get me wrong, I don't blog because I want comments, I mean I have been blogging way before blogging got all cute and country. To me blogging isn't about being cute and nice, it's about what is real in my life. Thanks to things said by one of the few people online who REALLY knows me and loves me anyway, I have realized that my blog is turning not exactly to fluff but close. I have started posts and then deleted them because I didn't want to offend anyone. I hate myself for that because if you know me in real life you know that I say what I think and I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me. I have hidden myself behind cute little cuddly graphics and I am ready to make myself puke. But, my point is that I don't have time to get into it right now because I have a three year old who wants my attention, a house full of kitties that I need to find homes for and a tuxedo to put on so that I can transport a group of people to a concert.

Yes, I love cute country graphics and my house is filled with teddy bears and all things country but I am so much more than cute, country things, I am a mom, I am a wife, I am a wonderful lover and I enjoy sex more than I was raised to enjoy it, I hate to cook, I am a bitch when you piss me off and I cry during sad movies, I listen to loud rap music that rattles the windows in my minivan, I try not to swear in front of my children but sorry sometimes "darn" just doesn't cut it when someone cuts you off in traffic and then flips you off because you are in "their" way, I hate shopping and I love spending an entire day doing nothing but reading a good book, I drive limousines, I hate making my bed, I am the best mom, daughter and wife that I can be but I can be selfish, bratty, mean, nasty and ugly for no reason other than that I feel like it. I have never written in this blog to please others, if you look through my archives you will see that I have shown my true self again and again. I hate the fact that I feel as if I have been sugar coating my life, watching my language, hoping I don't step on any toes. The more I think about it the more pissed off I get at myself. This is me, this is my life, you may not always agree with what I say but at least you will always know that it is real. Don't worry, I don't expect anyone to comment about this post. It's kinda like a train wreck, you can't help but look and be thankful that it isn't you but if anyone should happen to see you watching you quickly look away. After all it has nothing to do with you, hopefully your life will never feel like a train wreck but if it does I hope you have the strength to live through it and don't feel too bad when people pretend like they don't see it. It's just human nature after all.

My :: brother's ship :: departed yesterday. I am so happy that my dad was able to drive up there and wave him off. I guess they (my dad, Michelle and the kids) were able to go on to his ship and get a tour and even eat there with him. After which my brother left with my dad to his hotel and they stood up the entire night talking. I can't imagine how hard it was for my dad to say goodbye. I am just so happy that my brother knew there was someone there waving goodbye to him. My dad took lots of pictures, I can't wait to see them.

Yesterday was spent melting in a tuxedo because I drove limo for an all day wedding. They needed two limo's so Nathan and I picked them up at 10:30am and didn't drop them off until 6:00pm. Most of which was spent waiting in between hair appointments and photos. Nathan is a newer driver although he has driven much more than I have. He was a lot of fun to talk to but I swear if he would have made one more joke about me being the "bosses daughter" I would have strangled him!

Not much going on today, just gonna relax with my little family and start getting things ready to leave on our honeymoon. I can't believe we leave in less than a week. I am so excited, 5 whole days alone! We have NEVER had 5 entire days to ourselves! Last night John and I stood up late talking, about past relationships and how different everything feels this time. When you get married at 18 you think you know what you are doing, you think you are in love and maybe some people are lucky enough to be right and even to make it work. In my case I went through the motions of what I thought I was supposed to do but I never felt as if my life fit. It was as if I wasn't really me but I had to play the part so that no one would know I was a fake. The best thing I ever did was to pack up my stuff and start a new life with my daughters. Divorce isn't always a pretty thing and I don't recommend breaking up marriages without trying but how can you possible be happily married when you don't even know who you are? I would much rather struggle through life alone than to have to pretend to be happy in a life and marriage that I hate. I am so thankful for the time that I was alone, my years as a single mom proved to me that I am strong, that I can do anything. The years I spent alone really taught me who I was and what kind of person I want to be. I was lucky to fall in love with someone who loves me for the person I am, not in spite of my faults but because of them and I am happily married, not because I couldn't live without John but because I know I could, thankfully I just don't have to.