What a long day yesterday turned out to be. All day shopping with three kids, lots of other moms shopping at the last minute, I still had the limo calls on my cell phone, plus it was so hot I think we were all melting. We did buy tennis shoes and found some really cute clothes here. The girls found so many clothes that they liked that I ended up buying half and putting the other half on layaway for when I get the next child support check. Hopefully it will actually arrive on time next month. We couldn't get in to get Brittany's hair done so we have to go back to the mall this afternoon. She still hasn't chickened out.

After an entire day of shopping I had to hurry back home because Danielle had to be at a pool party for her Brownie troop. At least it was nice enough for them to swim and it was nice to talk to the mom's that I only see during the school year.

Marshall came home and brought me a job application. I haven't really been looking for work but they need help in the office where he works with their web page. The web page is all set up, basically I would be adding new product photos and answering emails. There would also be bookkeeping and other stuff. I filled out the application but I doubt if I will get it because I think I asked for more than they are willing to pay. It would be nice though. I think I am really getting sick of being at home all the time. I have been really bitchy lately, maybe if I worked out of the house I would be in a better mood. My hours would be flexible and I wouldn't have to work weekends so we'll see how it goes. Having extra money is never a bad thing, especially since Christmas will be here before I even know it.

It took a few days but we are all finally dealing better with the loss of our kitty. Thanks to all of you for the kind words and emails. I am still shocked at how hard I took it. I mean, of course it is hard on kids but I was crying like a baby. We never had pets growing up so I've never dealt with this either. Part of me was saying.....get over it Lisa, it's just a cat but the other part of me wouldn't listen and just kept crying. We thought about getting another kitty but have decided that we don't want another one right now, maybe we'll think about it later.

Today is another school shopping day. We are also going to do haircuts and Brittany has decided for sure that she wants a perm. I am so nervous. I don't want her to hate it and I'm afraid she's gonna walk out of there crying. Let's just hope that it all goes well and that she loves it. There is nothing worse than starting school with hair you hate. Maybe I will talk her out of it, I'm still not sure. I'll let you know how it goes. School starts Monday.......I am feeling so unprepared!

We had a kitty funeral for Gypsy today. Marshall found a little wooden box and he wrapped her in a soft towel and put her in the box. The box was so tiny it broke my heart. We buried her in the corner of the back yard underneath a small tree. Danielle found some flowers to place on top and we all talked about our favorite memories of her. It's hard to believe how many there were because we have had her less than two weeks. But she was so cute and cuddly and had her own little personality. We all loved her and will all miss her. Hopefully the funeral will help the kids say goodbye.

Our little kitty died today. The girls both cried all afternoon. I have no idea how to deal with this. I have no idea why she died, if she was sick or maybe just too little to be away from her mom. We have never had a pet die other than a goldfish which wasn't as big of a deal. I am completely at a loss as to what to do right now. I have hugged them, talked to them, but how do you make it right? I am the mommy and I am supposed to fix things, it is a horrible feeling to not be able to fix this. The kitty is in a box in the bathroom right now, I don't know what else to do. Marshall is still at work......I hope he comes home soon. I just don't feel capable of dealing with this alone. We had named the kitty this weekend, her name was Gypsy. I never took a picture of her. Damn I feel like shit right now.

Expect lots and lots of bitching this week! lol My stepsister went on vacation leaving me to handle the limo calls during the day. I have no idea how I used to do this crap 24 hours a day - 7 days a week....hmmm.....maybe that's why I don't do it very often anymore.

Let's see, my day starts off with a driver who is 5 minutes late and within that 5 minute period I get 3 calls from different upset customers who are waiting to be picked up. Yep, it's gonna be a wonderful week. :-)

Today we took the kids here for "Pioneer Days". We had so much fun. This living museum is open year round but for two days out of the year the exhibits come to life. There are people roaming around in costumes of the pioneer era and there are many exhibits on what day to day life was like. We watched a "gun fight" in front of the saloon (this made Anthony scream) and the girls were involved in a melodrama which lead to their train being held up, they also were able to put on old dresses and hats and we took pictures of them sitting in an antique car. We had ice cream in the old creamery, bought candy at the drugstore and the kids and I tried rommegrøt and lefse for the first time. No one was too impressed with the lefse but Brittany and Anthony liked the rommegrøt but I can guarantee you that even if they would have had this to try no one would have tasted it. Marshall's sister was laughing at us, she says if they can eat taco's we should be able to eat lefse.

The coolest part is that we saw Marshall's dad's picture at the law enforcement museum. Marshall's dad was acting chief of police in Moorhead for many years. He was very young in the picture and very handsome. We went to his house after we left and he was surprised to hear that his picture was up. I wish we could take him to see it but it would be way too much walking for him and when we suggested he use a wheelchair he pretended not to hear us. We walked all day, in and out of all of the different buildings, there was so much to see and we probably only saw half of it. Definitely a fun day, the kids are excited to go again next year.

The girls and I went powershopping yesterday. We bought all of their school supplies at Wal-mart. Wow......talk about a madhouse! I guess I'm not the only one who waits until the last minute. We ran into the school secretary and found out that there was a last minute change on Friday and that all of the teachers had been switched around. Brittany had been celebrating last fall that she wouldn't have to have the normal (and rumored mean) 5th grade teacher. I wish I could have had a picture of her face when she was told that she would have this teacher after all. Her poor little face dropped but she smiled bravely at the secretary and just nodded her head. It was so funny. So after stocking up on glitter pencils, stacks of paper, boxes of markers, crayons, glue, glue sticks, gel pens, new backpacks and cute little plaid covered notebooks and pencil boxes we decided to shop for clothes.

Not fun. My girls drive me crazy now, I can't imagine when they are teenagers. We glanced at Wal-mart....but their clothes suck. The only thing we found was a cute sweater for Brittany. So we moved on. Brittany has been reading this magazine all summer and has it in her head already what she wants to buy. Amazingly we found her dream outfit for the first day of school. It starts off with a pair of boots.......I still can't believe I let her buy them! LOL.....I think she was shocked that I let her buy them. At first I almost said no, but then I figured that it's her feet. If she want's to wear them why not? They aren't any worse then some of the shoes I used to wear. So to go with the boots she found this really cute red plaid mini-skirt. I just love plaid skirts, they are so adorable. Danielle got one too with this cute black vest.

So we found a few really cute outfits but of course we are not done. We're gonna have to go back and brave the crowds next week. After all of our shopping we picked up two pepperoni pizza's and brought them home to our guys and ate pizza while we showed off all of our purchases. Marshall of course has to go on and on about how the news said that it cost $40 to send a child to school with school supplies so he's going to complain to the news because they were wrong because I spent way more than that. And then he has to go on and on about how his school supplies were old pencils, a used ruler and eraser, and paper. Then of course comes the story about walking miles to school up-hill through blizzards both ways. He had the girls giggling because he was being so funny. Later he just thanked me for not making him go shopping with us. lol

My thoughts for the last few days have been with a close friend of mine who is going through a lot of shit. I am worried about her and I hope she knows that although it may not seem like it right now, everything will be all right. Her marriage is falling apart and as I talk to her and read her blog I keep remembering when I went through the same sort of crap. Regardless if you are the one leaving a marriage or whether you are the one "being left", when there are children involved divorce sucks.

It's been about 5 years now since I left Jorge. I really have no idea of the exact date because in my mind everything was in such a haze that I have a hard time remembering exactly how it all happened. All I remember is that I desperately needed out of my marriage. I felt as if I was drowning and the more I tried to breathe the harder it was to stay afloat. There is nothing that he did wrong, nothing wrong with him, I in fact still care about him very much. I just didn't love him any more. So I packed up my girls and we left. I was accused of being selfish, of only thinking of myself and not my family. I have felt so much guilt for what I did but NEVER have I had any regrets as to how everything turned out.

How can a person live if they don't feel alive? How could I have been a good mom if I lived a life of misery just to keep us "together". I believe in my heart that if I would have stood in my marriage we would have ended up hating each other. So I did what was best for me, I left. Yes that may seem selfish but I guess I'm the one who has to live with that. What I do know is that Jorge did get on with his life. He remarried and may again be divorced soon. We haven't talked about it much but I do get the sense that he realizes why I did what I did, and I think maybe that is why he refuses to settle for a marriage that isn't making him happy just for the sake of not hurting someone. He is now doing what he has to do to make himself happy and I hope with all my heart that he finds it. Because in my heart I only wish him the best because he deserves the best, and he deserved more than to have a wife who didn't love him with all her heart but only stood with him for the sake of the kids. I know that my children are better off, they are happy and well adjusted. There is no tension at home, they see their mom is happy and they love Marshall almost as much as they love their own dad who they visit as often as they can. Jorge and I have remained friends and are in fact closer than I think we were when we were married. I may not have loved him as a wife should but I do love him as my friend and I always will.

As I write this I feel as if I am in a way trying to justify what I did. I think it is because as I hear my friend's pain and anguish over her marriage failing I am feeling guilty because I know that I caused that sort of pain to someone else. She doesn't understand why her husband would leave and as much as I am there for her and wish that I could take her pain away, I can still remember my own desperation to get out of my marriage no matter how much Jorge begged me not to go. Her anger towards him has opened me up to the anger Jorge must have felt towads me. Because he is a guy he had to "hold it together" but I know that his pain was no less then hers. She talks about her life falling apart through no fault of her own and I know Jorge felt the same way. Many of the words she has used were in fact used by Jorge towards me. It really isn't fair that one person can completely change the course of your life. It isn't fair that I could just decide to be a single mom while she doesn't have a choice in the matter.

What I do know is that as hard as this is for her she will be ok. She is strong and she will one day look back and see how far she has come. Her life is now open to many possiblities that weren't there before. I know that at this moment that probably isn't much comfort to her but I have been there in a way. I know that live goes on and when you least expect it happiness and yes even love can find you. Right now maybe that's not enough.....maybe instead of talking to me she should be talking to Jorge.

Damn server has been down almost all day today, it is really starting to piss me off. I think it's time to find a new server. Any suggestions?

I knew school was starting really soon, and I knew that I had to register the girls just about any day. I knew the school calendar and the school supply list was somewhere close by......I just couldn't remember where! lol Thank goodness I found it yesterday because guess when I have to register the girls?? Yep.....today. So I'm off to get them registered and then I am off to get the last of their school supplies. Every year these lists get longer and longer. I always remember having to take a box of kleenex to school when I was a kid....this year we are up to THREE boxes of kleenex per child! They are going to need a seperate backpack just to carry the kleenex! lol

School starts August 27th, which means I have less than two weeks to get haircuts, buy clothes and shoes, and finish getting school supplies. Oh and Brittany wants a perm in her hair! I don't know if I should talk her out of it or just let her do it. She wants to highlight her hair too! I've already said no to that one. When did she grow up so quickly?! I am so not ready for this! She is only going into 5th grade this year, can you imagine when she gets to junior high?! lol

I just LOVE Sesame Street! I am just sitting her ROFLMAO at how cute Anthony is. He is in the livingroom singing the alphabet at the top of his lungs with Elmo. His pronunciations are sooo cute. When I try to do the alphabet with him he refuses, he looks at me like I have completely lost my mind, but for some reason when they are singing it on Sesame Street it is ok. He gets embarrassed so easy, if I went in there right now and tried to watch it with him he would quit singing. So I have to sit here in the other room pretending I don't hear how cute he is.

Have you seen Marshall's picture? If you haven't this story isn't as cute. You see, he is this big, tough, biker dude who literally scares people just by looking at them. He looks mean and if he doens't like you (which is 90% of the population) he is mean. So this morning my mean biker guy gets up early before going to work, makes a tiny bottle of milk for our new baby kitty, and feeds her so that I could sleep in. AAwwww.......isn't that so sweet? :-) I know of so many guys who wouldn't do that with a real baby much less a kitten. Now if you should read this and you know Marshall.......sssshhhhhh.....don't say anything! I'm not supposed to let people know how wonderful he is! hehe

So yesterday when I was bored out of mind I took the quiz to find out my top spot to live. I knew I was a small town girl but damn this is really bad! lol Here are my choices (keep in mind that I already live in Fargo, North Dakota!):

Hancock/Houghton, Michigan
New York Mills, Minnesota
Spearfish, South Dakota
Petoskey, Michigan
Spencer, Iowa
Lanesboro, Minnesota

New York Mills is only like 80 miles from here. I might just have to drive up there and see why it would be a top spot for me. lol

Nothing to post today. I swear some days I just have too much to blog about and then there are days like today where if I posted what was actually going on around here you would be bored to tears. So I will spare you the agony and just skip all the mundane details of my life today.

Hope you all are enjoying a wonderful weekend. My sister and I are taking the girls to see this movie today. They are very excited. Not much else going on. We stayed home last night and ate popcorn and watched movies. Nothing really exciting but yet, one of my favorite things to do. I baked cookies last night from this "cookie-in-a-jar" mix that I bought at an auction at the kids school. They came out not so good. The kids of course liked them and Marshall ate them, but they were really gross. I think I'll stick to my own recipes, there's nothing like baking your own cookies from scratch!

Our new kitty is doing good. She sure eats a lot. I am afraid to overfeed her so I have been feeding her a little at a time several times a day. She is so cute, she is so fluffy, just a little round puff of black fur. Still no name, we really should come up with one soon because right now we are all calling her "baby". I would hate for that name to stick! lol

We have a new kitty! Marshall came home the other day and told me about some kittens that had been found at work in a car. There was no mother in sight and the poor kittens almost got crushed when they were crushing cars. Thank goodness someone heard the meowing! So far three have been adopted, we took one yesterday and there is one more left to find a home for. We got the only black one, the rest were gray. She (I think it's a she) is so adorable, but so tiny we have to feed her with a bottle we bought just for her with some special "kitty milk formula". LOL......it's like having a baby all over again! She even woke me up for a feeding at 6am! Our other cat (Mittens) isn't too sure what to think of her. I think she is more scared than anything because anytime the baby goes near her poor Mittens jumps clear across the room. I am watching them closely because I am so scared that Mittens will hurt the baby. Marshall says they will be fine together but I told him that if Mittens hurts the baby I will never talk to him again.

The kids are of course excited but the kitten has really sharp claws so they don't try to pick her up which is a good thing because she is just too tiny. She is sleeping in a basket next to me right now, curled up in a little ball, she looks like a rolled up pair of socks! We still don't have a name for her yet. Any suggestions?

Good grief!! Why is that whenever I drive with my mom she drives me out of my mind?? She acts like I have no clue how to drive and bitches about how fast I drive, the way I turn, if she doesn't think I looked in the mirror properly. AAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I was so ready to see her finally get on her damn plane. I know I am going to miss her but for that moment I was just relieved to see her go! I swear, from the moment I pulled out of the driveway she was complaining. She said, "Do you want me to drive?" and I said "No, I just want you to be quiet about MY driving." I drive so much better than her, she is the definition of road rage. She is constantly yelling at someone, cutting people off, she is a scary driver. So the whole way into town she is bitching about my driving, I was going 5 miles over the speed limit and she freaked about how fast I was going. Hello......who just got a speeding ticket last week?? It sure as hell wasn't me going 65 in a 45mph zone! And then when we had to stop and pick up Danielle from summer school I got out of the car and came out and she was on the drivers side. She said she had to move the car because it was in someone's way but of course she didn't get out so I could drive. I would much rather she drove then to have to listen to her complain so I didn't say anything. So guess what she does?

She pulls out of the school parking lot, cuts off a car coming towards her and turns so sharp that the console tips over knocking her entire glass of ice water into my shoes!!!!! But of course I am the one who does not know how to drive. And then we had to make a left hand turn onto a busy street. It had two turning lanes, we were on the outside lane. She makes the turn into the inside lane, not even looking if there was someone beside her. Fortunately there was no one beside us otherwise she would have crunched someone's car. Sheesh! I swear, when she turns 55 I am going to take away her drivers license and she better not bitch about my driving otherwise I will make her keep her ass at home!! Of course I can say all this stuff about her now because she is Maine! ROFLMAO

Yesterday the play was so cute! We really enjoyed it and even Anthony sat still! He was so good that we have decided to take him to see Shrek. We took the girls when it first came out but left him with my mom because he is usually not very good in movies and then one of us ends up sitting in the lobby with him playing video games. So I am hoping that he will sit through the entire and watch it without driving me insane because I am looking forward to seeing Shrek again. It is such a cute movie.

I have to get running shortly. I have to take my mom to the airport today. She is leaving to visit her friend Penny in Maine. Before she leaves we are going to pick up Maria from work and have lunch together. We are going here, I just love their soup.

We are supposed to go to the lakes this weekend, but I think Marshall has to work on Sat. Maybe we will just drive up there and spend the day on Sunday. The girls have really wanted to go. Hopefully the weather won't be so damn hot. Still not done with school shopping. Why do I always wait till the last minute?!

Oh I almost forgot, I DID get my candles yesterday! The package was sitting in the entry way of our house and I didn't even know it was there. Danielle found it for me. They are so yummy! They kids thought that the grubby loaf was really cool because I didn't have a candle tin big enough so I put it in a bread loaf pan to burn it. They said it looked like a birthday cake.

I am so, so sorry to hear about your bad morning. It always seems to happen that way. One thing goes wrong and it sets off a chain reaction! I hope the crying and the nap helps you feel better. I know it usually works for me. :-) That sucks about your ticket. I remember when I lived in California with my ex, it was right before Christmas and I was about 7 months pregnant with Brittany. We parked on the side of grocery store in front of a shopping center and ran inside for five minutes because I was craving ice cream. We got the ice cream and when we went back outside we had a ticket! It was then that we saw the handicap sign posted not on a sign where they usually are but with a small sign hanging on the building in front of us. The damn stall wasn't even painted as a handicap parking. I don't remember how much our ticket was but I do remember that it took all of our Christmas shopping money to pay it. Ever since then I have been completely paranoid about handicap parking spaces. I won't even park next to one just to be on the safe side. lol I hope you are feeling better! (((Hugs)))