Another life changing phone call. As I write my heart is filled with sadness and hope. My mom's sister called this morning. My aunt has a daughter who is a year younger than I am. 9 years ago she had a daughter named Cassandra. I have met Cassandra's mom twice in my life and Cassandra I have never met. Cassandra's mom no longer wants her. My aunt, Cassandra's grandmother, does not have the financial means or the stability to keep her. She called my mom and wants her to take her. My mom in her heart wants Cassandra and she of course would have no problem taking care of her financially. My mom's concern is that her and my stepdad have planned to retire in five years. They just got my brother, the baby of the family, out of the house. How do you go from sending your youngest son off into the Navy and turn around and take on the responsibilities of a nine year old? My mom and stepdad are both used to working until late at night, going out whenever they want, taking extended vacations. There is a lot for her to consider.

I on the other hand already have three kids, in all honesty one more won't make a difference. While our house isn't as huge as my mom's, we would have room for one more. Cassandra is close in age to both Brittany and Danielle. Getting her to school, activities, etc would not be a problem. Having one more would definitely NOT change our lifestyle......lol we don't have a lifestyle! My concern with us taking her is that financially it would be a lot to take on. I want this little girl more than I can say. Between my family and my mom and stepdad I think that we can provide a home, love and financial support for Cassandra.

My heart hurts at the thought of what it must be like to be nine year's old and have your mom not want you. There are many complications to work out. First of all, we would have to get my cousin to agree to let us take her. We would also have to get Cassandra's biological dad (who is an alcoholic and who supposedly doesn't want her either) to give up parental rights. We would then need to find a way to get her from Colorado to here and legally adopt her and/or get guardianship. Hopefully this can all get done so that she has time to adjust before school starts. That seems like a huge order but I do believe that if it is meant to happen it will work out. Please keep Cassandra in your thoughts and pray that in the end what is best for Cassandra will happen.

Okay, this is getting very pathetic! lol I have found so many old files, it is unbelievable! I found my chat icon from when I used to chat here. Yes, I used to hangout in the "Singles Bar" but ssshhh don't tell anyone! lol These ~~> were uploaded August 17, 1996. Sheesh......who knows where these lips have been! Well I do but I'm not telling! :-P hehe

Holy Cow! (lol I don't usually use that expression, honestly I don't but for some reason it seemed to fit) I am trying to clean out some of my files on this site and I found a graphic that had been uploaded September, 28, 1996 and definitely is not being used for any thing other than taking up space. Sheesh, I guess it's about time to get rid of some shit.......you think?

It's amazing how a persons life can change through no fault of their own. It's amazing how a choice made can affect everyone around you. My mom called yesterday. We have a mutual friend who lives in Maine. Penny was first and mostly my mom's friend but we would all get together and go out drinking and partying. Last summer Penny came to visit, actually Penny comes to visit every summer, she usually brings herself, her daughter and lobsters. I had never seen her so happy. Everything was going so well for her. Her and her husband had just built a new house, they had a very successful business, everything was perfect. This summer no one had heard from Penny so we just assumed she was too busy to visit.

A few weeks ago a drunk driver killed two people while coming home from a friends house. The drunk driver was Penny's husband. I never knew Penny's husband well. Once we all went out together and I remember him being so funny. His accent was so cute and I remember we all went out to eat after the bar closed and we had this incredibly stupid conversation about "Fluff". We had never heard of the stuff and he was so shocked that we had never tried it. Of course us being drunk added to the whole hilarity of the conversation.

I think back to that night because that is really the only mental picture I have of him. I can't think of him as the murderer of two people. The families of those lost will always think of him that way. Penny is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Not only has she lost her husband but she has to deal with the fact that her husband killed two people. He was driving their company vehicle when he hit them. The company is in her name and she is now being sued. I can't imagine the range of emotions she is going through right now. Her daughter is the same age as Brittany, how in the world could she possible deal with this? How does anyone get through something like this? My mom is flying down to see her. Hopefully in some small way that will help.

My heart breaks for the two people killed and for their families. Their lives were changed through no fault of their own. It is always hard to lose someone you love and care for regardless of the circumstances, but when you know it could have been prevented that must make it all the harder. My heart also breaks for my friend who in one moment had everything and again through no fault of her own has lost her husband and probably her business. The sad thing is that this tragedy will be repeated again and again. A different time, different place and different people. But somewhere out there someone who is loved by others will get behind the wheel of a car while drunk and kill someone they probably had never met before and change the lives of everyone who knows them. How sad is that?

I am totally addicted to this stuff. Every night I pop a bag while we are watching tv. I really don't like to share it but if Marshall is really, really nice I just might give him a little. Did you know that you can buy this in one gallon jugs? Yummm........I think I'm making myself hungry.

Not much going on today. Brittany decided to warm up one of these breakfast sandwiches in the microwave and burned it to a crisp! My entire house smelled like burned sausage. Thank goodness for yummy candles to get rid of the smell! :-) I also ordered new candles from here today. I can't wait to get them. I hope no more of my friends make candle sites because I am turning into a major candle addict! lol

I'm going to have to drag my ass out of the house soon and go shopping. Brittany has a bday party to go to tomorrow which of course means I have to buy a gift. She is never any help when it comes to shopping. I ask her if she has any ideas and she never has a clue. Lucky for her she has a smart mom who can figure it out because according to another mom I am known for buying the best gifts. lol....talk about pressure. The first time I mess up a gift everyone will be talking about it. hehe

It is so damn hot here, I am going out of my mind. Last night I woke up to crashing thunder and intense lightning. Normally I love waking up to storms but last night it was so hot and muggy I felt as if I couldn't breath. It didn't help that I had this bizarre dream that my entire family was in a Winnebego and we were leaving town in a hurry because of the storm. My stepdad was driving and I was sitting behind him on the floor holding my son who was a baby. Suddenly he slammed on the brakes because everyone else was leaving town and the traffic was incredible. I looked up and saw a man standing there holding a rifle to my stepdad's window. He wanted to hijack the vehicle. My stepdad calmly pulls over and lets him in. The guy gets in and sits across from me holding the gun at me and my son. I woke up shortly after that due to the storm but the dream really left me out of sorts. As I analyzed my dream I couldn't figure out which was more telling. The fact that my stepdad was the one driving and who allowed this man aboard (lately we haven't been getting along) or the fact that this guy looked like Marshall. Weird huh? The heat kept me up for most of the night and I got 5 new mosquito bites! Damn I am getting sick of summer!

Sssshhhhh.........Don't tell anyone but I am ready for snow!

Found at LaLa's....
If I were a stone, I would be a moonstone.
If I were a tree, I would be a weeping willow tree.
If I were a bird, I would be a killdeer.
If I were a machine, I would be a gumball machine.
If I were a fruit, I would be a mango.
If I were a flower, I would be a fire 'n' ice rose.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be a blizzard.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be a kazoo.
If I were a kind of profession, I would be a blacklisted journalist.
If I were an animal, I would be a flying mule.
If I were a color, I would be indigo blue.
If I were a fragrance, I would be Poison.
If I were an emotion, I would be belligerent.
If I were a vegetable, I would be a brussel sprout.
If I were a song, I would be Bitch by Merideth Brooks.
If I were a food, I would be a Blazen Hot Buffalo Wing.

I am awake. I hate when I am awake when I really want to just be asleep! I know that I should just enjoy the quiet of the house before everyone wakes up but I would much rather be cuddled next to my sweetie sound asleep. We did have a wonderful day yesterday. We all slept in and Marshall and I woke up to the girls cleaning the kitchen and Brittany made us coffee! Sometimes it amazes me how grown up they are. Brittany is already bugging me to let her highlight her hair! I think that 10 years old is a little young for that! Don't you? I told her I would go to the mall and try to find her temporary stuff that would wash out, you know the stuff I mean? It looks like mascara and comes in gold, blue and red highlights. I think she would have fun playing with it and hopefully it will make her forget that she is growing up way too fast! lol

We were missing my dad's wonderful breakfast burritos that he made for us while we were there so Marshall and I attempted to make them together. They came out so yummy! We have decided to make them a Sunday tradition. After cleaning the kitchen we watched a movie with the kids and just kinda hung out. Marshall pulled out the board games and we spent the day playing games and eating popcorn. A nice, lazy Sunday. Don't you just love them? :-)

Before I forget I just wanted to thank you for my candles!! They are all so yummy!! Don't worry my mom was taking care of my mail while I was gone so there was no "melting blueberry muffins wax seeping down" my front steps. lol Your auctions are making me want to shop again! As soon as I recover from our vacation I will be sending you another order. :-)

Went to see this with my mom and sister last night. They wanted to have a girls night out.......lol......think they missed me? hehe It was a cute movie and afterwards we went here to have a few drinks. The music was good although I didn't see anyone I knew there. Usually I run into a few people I know but since I haven't been there in how long? I guess that would explain it. I am so out of the bar scene. I really don't miss it but it was fun to go out for a change. I think I need to do that more often.

I'm still trying to get into the swing of things after vacation. We had so much fun. I haven't spent time with my dad since we went to Alaska together a few years ago. He took us all over the Bay area. We went to Alcatraz, Pier 39 (spent way too much money shopping here (I couldn't resist buying one of these), here and here. We had awesome clam chowder on Fisherman's Wharf and browsed the shops there as well. At one point we found this really cool shop/museum that my dad says he loves to visit. As I am browsing around with my brother my dad excitedly calls us over. He has found an old bell from a Navy ship and can you believe on the bell is the name "Peralta"?! I have never in my life seen anything with our last name on it. My brother who is in the Navy was very excited and we pull Marshall over to admire our "namesake" as I get my brother to stand under the bell as I snap his picture. Unfortunately our bubble is quickly burst as Marshall points out a small sign underneath the bell that claims "The Peralta" to be the Bad Luck Ship! We all glare at him for ruining our moment but took more pictures nonetheless. lol

Here are a few more highlights of our trip. We took the kids on a tour of the Jelly Belly Factory, that was actually a lot of fun. Did you know it takes 7-10 days to make one Jelly Belly? We also went to Six Flags, Marine World and took Marshall on his very first roller coaster ride. We took him on the Medusa which was so much fun. I absolutely love roller coasters. Marshall wasn't as impressed and spent the rest of the day watching us ride from the ground. I think the Medusa might have been a little bit too much roller coaster for his first time. lol We actually went to Marine World a few times because my dad bought us season passes. I know that seems silly for only a two week vacation but we went a few times and made it worth while. We went to my dad's favorite hangout in Vallejo called "Chris' Club" and played pool a few times. We also spent one day in Reno and gambled here, here and here. We didn't win much but had fun anyway. The rest of the time was spent lounging on my dad's patio, visiting and just hanging out. We had a very relaxing vacation and are looking forward to doing it again next summer.

Yes, I did say we plan to drive there again. lol No, I am not insane.......well maybe just a little bit. hehe Actually the drive was a lot of fun! The kids were really good and we took our time and stopped often which helped from keeping us from going insane. Anthony was so cute. We would let him out at a rest area and let him run around for 15 minutes and then Marshall would tell him to get back in his chair and he would jump in the car and climb into his chair and wait for someone to buckle him up. We also made it a point to stop early a few nights so that the kids would have time to swim in the hotel swimming pool. There is nothing like a good bribe to keep the kids on their best behavior! lol

Well as much fun as vacations are it is always good to be home! Thank you and you for the warm welcomes. It's nice to know someone missed me. :-)

I'm back! We had an incredible vacation!!!!! California was so much fun and we had a wonderful visit with my dad. We were supposed to be back on Sunday but I just didn't want to go so we extended it a few days and got home this morning at 3:00am. I have laundry and the fun of unpacking still to do. We also have to visit Marshall's dad today and then have dinner at my mom's house tonight. I hope all is well with everyone and hopefully I will be able to catch up with you all. :-) Sorry this is so short but I just wanted to check in and say hi! Vacation is always so much fun but it is always good to be home.

Roadtrip is going on the road! I love going on roadtrips which was where I came up with the name for my blog. Today Marshall and I are taking an insane roadtrip from North Dakota to Northern California with all three of the kiddies. Why do I say insane? Cause if I'm not insane now I for sure will be by the time we get back! lol Actually, I'm really looking forward to it. Marshall has never in his life been on a vacation......can you say workaholic? I am also looking forward to seeing and spending time with my dad. For those of you who sent me your address keep an eye out for your postcard. :-)
I'm sure I'll have lots of stuff to post when I get back! Until then have a wonderful summer and I'll see ya in two weeks.
xoxoxo

Graphic by Cute Country Side Graphics

Happy 4th of July!! We're off to my mom's annual 4th of July party. Hope you all have a wonderful day! Last night was so much fun, I'll post about it another time when I'm not so hung over! lol

Graphic by Mary's Little Lamb

My girls are home! I am soooo happy! We had a wonderful evening last night. This morning we got up early and took them for pictures with their Uncle Gilbert. It is his birthday present to our mom. Anthony wasn't too excited about pictures. We did get one with him but he didn't smile too much. An old lady was watching and she said I should knock him around a few times. lol I was almost ready to agree. Oh well, at least he didn't scream bloody murder because a stranger had to pick him up.



Speaking of which........Happy Birthday Mom!

We are all on our way to a street dance to celebrate my mom's birthday. This band will be playing, they are good friends of my moms. I haven't heard them play in a while so it will be nice to see them again. In my single, party days I used to hear them all the time at the Windbreak, but seeing as how I'm getting so darn old I never seem to go out anymore. lol We are driving this which will be nice so that when the kiddies get tired they can just go to sleep. Well, I'd better get ready to go, Marshall is starting to nag me. lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eden, I wish you much happiness today and always!
Have a wonderful day and don't forget to make a wish!
xoxoxo


Birthday Graphics from
Mary's Little Lamb

Brittany and Danielle are coming home today!!!!!!!! I am so excited I am jumping out of my skin! My aunts and uncle are still here and I must say I am enjoying their visit so much more than I imagined. I realize how much I have changed since the last time I saw them (7 years ago). Wow, I was uptight back then! lol I had so many bad memories about the drinking and partying but now that I have relaxed some I have realized how much fun they are to be around. My aunties all love to dance to Mexican music, having only one brother around leaves them dancing with each other. When I watched this 7 years ago it made me very uncomfortable but watching it now I am in awe of these beautiful strong women who have such affection for each other. The kissing and hugging is foreign to me because I am not very good at showing affection. With my kids yes and with Marshall yes but I rarely even hug my own mom. I like my distance and I don't like anyone intruding on the boundaries that I keep around me. Watching the affection between everyone makes me wonder what I have missed out on by keeping such a distance between me and others. I have never known my mom's family very well so it is a wonderful, new experience for me.

Yesterday they made tamales. Tamales are usually only made at Christmas time because there is so much work involved. My mom's oldest sister Rosalie wanted to make them for my mom because my mom doesn't know how to make them. My auntie Rosalie is a tiny little thing barely 5' tall and I'd guess she doesn't even weigh 100lbs. (Damn, why couldn't I have inherited those side of the genes? lol) but when she takes control of the kitchen you stand out of her way! The process of making tamales is a mystery to me. Making the meat to go inside took all morning and part of the afternoon. Then she made the masa. All three sisters bustled around the kitchen while my mom, my sister and I stood back in awe. Finally it was time for the hard part. Spreading the masa on the corn husks and rolling them up to be steamed. The masa wasn't cooperating and everyone was having a hard time getting it to stick to the corn husks. Finally with the help of Emma (my aunts wife) they got the masa just right and the rest of the day was spent putting the tamales together and then steaming them.

I think it was almost 9:00pm by the time the first batch was done. I am telling you, these are the best tamales I have ever had in my life! My aunt Rosalie sat back in silence drinking a beer with her face lighting up as everyone inhaled these things. Marshall has never had a tamale so everyone was waiting to see what he would think. I think he had ate four of them before he finally stopped eating long enough to tell her how incredibly good they were! By the time the night was over he had ate ten of them! My aunt Rosalie finally ate one and said that these tamales taste even better than the ones she makes at home. She explained that not only were these made with love for her sister and her family but because they were made "de mi corazón". Everything my aunts do is from their heart and I am so thankful for this time I have with them. I can't wait for my daughters to come home and share this part of their heritage with them. I am thankful and humbled to know the strong women that I am part of.

Why is it that the more I clean the more I find to clean? Why is it that I didn't inherit the neat-freak cleaning gene from my mother's side of the family?! Not only did I not inherit it but my children didn't either. I have been working on getting my house in order and all I have seemed to do is make more of a mess. I have stuff pulled out of closets, piles of clothes waiting to be sorted, boxes of stuff that needs to be thrown out. It looks as if my house has exploded. Now of course there is company in town and I have to figure out a way to get my house looking somewhat clean so that I can rush them in, show them my house, and then rush them back out to sit on the patio.

I HATE HOUSEWORK!

There I said it. I feel guilty for saying it but I think it needed to be said! lol Why do I feel so guilty? Maybe because I have a grandmother who raised 7 children in one house and you would NEVER find a speck of dust much less a junk drawer anywhere in the vicinity of her house. She would freak out if she saw my house. Dust is the least of my worries right now. When I first found these I thought all of my problems were solved. I figured that if I bought enough of them I would suddenly be more organized and my house would never be a mess. Imagine my surprise when the damn things seemed to just bring more clutter to my house! I have such a hard time throwing shit away, my sister came to help me organize the kids rooms and I know she left here pulling her hair out because for every three things she put in the garbage I pulled one thing out. I'm sorry I have an emotional attachment to my junk! As Marshall's dad would say..... "It's good junk"

So I guess I should get off of the damn computer and try to narrow down my selection of good junk. Wish me luck and if all else fails I can dim all of the lights when I give my relatives a tour of my house. hehe

Graphic by Cute Colors

Today Gilly arrives! I am so excited to see him. My mom's brother and sisters will also be arriving from California today and tomorrow. Brittany and Danielle will be home on Monday, July 2nd. They called me last night. They were here getting hamburgers, I am so jealous! When I moved to California many years ago, I was 16, that was the first meal I had. My uncle Tim took me there in his yellow Z-28. No other burger has ever tasted as good.

So far the girls have also called me from here and here on their dad's cell phone. I wish they would call me from his house becaused that damn phone is always cutting out but at least I was able to talk to them. They are both having lots of fun but are looking forward to coming home.

I get my new patio furniture today!! I am so excited. I have had it on layaway since last week which is a good thing because they are now sold out. I got the 7 piece set but I didn't get the umbrella but I can always get that later. The swingset still isn't done. Marshall has been in the shop for the last week trying to get the airconditioners in the limos to work properly. I say that in this weather nothing is going to cool. Well, I'm off to water flowers outside and get my deck ready for my furniture. Stop by and join me for margaritas later. hehe

Happy, Cosmic, Ecstatic, Alive?
Feel anyway you please. *

Whatever, Blah, Unsure, Bored?:
Feel anyway you please. *

Sad, Crushed, Blue, Depressed?
Feel anyway you please. *

Angry, Mean, Frustrated, Pissed?
Feel anyway you please. *

I think I need all of these mugs! lol
I think you do too! I hope you reconsider your blog because I am going to miss you! You have the right to feel any damn way you please! :-) Just know that I am always here for you! And damn, do you mean to tell me that I'm not the only online person you know and talk to? Talk about bursting my bubble! ROFLMAO!

My life has never been more wonderful.... I am in love with someone who loves me completely, I have three wonderful children, for the most part I am content and happy. Yet there are other aspects in my life that seem to be smothering me. Let's just say there are many issues. Some of them aren't really worth the aspirin it takes to get rid of the headaches they at times give me. Some of them need some time before I figure out how to deal with them. For the most part I know that I just need time to work it all out in my head. I am not purposely talking in riddles, I guess I just know that to vent about them right now would be counter productive to myself.

So for that reason I have decided to refrain from any bitching (damn that's so hard to do! lol) and I'll just copy Laura and Amy who got it from here. Isn't it funny how these things kinda spread? I always wanted to do the 10 things/1 false statements but by the time I thought of 9 interesting facts about myself and 1 fact that was a lie but could be true I realized how many people were doing it and it just seemed obsolete.

Anyway.......here are 7 things on my desk
(Just for the record, my desk is a mess and there are a bit more than just seven things on it right now, I could probably do a 50 things on my desk list, but I will pick out the most interesting ones. lol)
1) Harry Potter desk calendar
2) Coffee cup with fresh coffee thanks to my sweetie :-)
3) Photographs that have been or will soon be scanned
4) See'n Say toy (compliments of Anthony)
5) Winnie the Pooh Band-Aids
6) Child support papers that wrongly has me paying child support to my ex. (Still to be resolved.)
7) Stuffed alien from here

Okay, major bitch blog today. If you are reading this and it is about you I seriously suggest that you stop reading NOW! This is my place, my space and don't even think about bringing it up to me because you are lucky I am bitching here and not to your face. Yes......you know who the fuck you are!

I am so seriously pissed if a certain person gets in my face it will take all self control to not slap the shit out of them. It amazes me how certain people automatically jump to conclusions about me, about what I would or would not do. I have had it with trying to be the peacemaker in my family. Too many times I have supported certain people against my mom, my sister, my brother and in the end it all comes back to haunt me. It always amazes me how quickly people can turn and point the finger. As long as I do what makes them happy they have no problem with me, as long as I let them run all over me everything is fine. The second I speak up and go against what makes them happy they turn on me screaming and yelling......calling me a spoiled brat when they are the ones acting like children. Never in my life would I talk with such disrespect to my stepfather as this person did to my mom. Making a huge scene with phony, dramatic tears in front of my son. Slamming doors, going psychotic. Talk about pathetic!

I refuse to be made to feel as if I do not belong here, as if my family does not belong here. This was our house long before it was yours, I made the mistake of moving out but now that I am here I am here to stay. Get over it! I will not move, I will not let my children feel as if this isn't their home. This house belongs to my mom and I will live here as long as I damn well please. Call me names, point the finger. I don't really give a shit. I know what really happened, I know why and everyone else can go straight to hell. Don't fuck with me because I promise you........ you will NOT win! And that is the spoiled brat who ALWAYS gets her way speaking.