One of the first things Marshall did when he moved in with us was get a fire extinguisher. He mounted it next to the stove. My response?

I was HIGHLY insulted. Good grief....was my cooking THAT bad? Sheesh

I relegated the extinguisher to the broom closet and forget all about it.

Last night I stood up late. I couldn't sleep. I was up playing here. About 2:00am I decided I should get to bed. I turned off all the lights and laid down next to Marshall thankful that it was a cool breezy night. I had a hard time going to sleep. Weird, strange, scary images kept flashing through my mind. I remember thinking that I should get up because something just felt weird. I ignored my feelings and finally fell asleep.

Have you ever woken up and thought you were in a dream? I woke up at 6:00am to a high pitch screeching and I immediately jumped out of bed. It was the strangest thing but I knew instantly what was wrong.

Fire

I ran out of my room and saw my desk up in flames. Not just a little fire but huge flames shooting up and spreading up the wall. I screamed for Marshall and he came running out. I froze. I couldn't move. I started babbling something about the fire extinguisher and he ran to the broom closet, got the extinguisher and quickly put it out. Fire alarms are still screeching and the house quickly fills with thick acrid smoke. Did I mention he sleeps with no clothes on? Here he is extinguisher in hand and buck naked. I quickly brought his pants. We open the front door and all windows. Anthony started crying so I took him to the closest window and sat holding him as Marshall cleared all of the smoldering debris off of my desk. I can still see the fire in my mind. Dancing flames shooting up around my computer monitor. I am in complete shock. It takes some time before I get the courage to see the damage.

Everything on my desk is pretty much gone. Papers, bills, shit, everything up in ashes. I look around and see ashes everywhere. If you look at my computer monitor from the front or the right side view it looks perfect.....look around to the left side and it is completely melted. Amazingly it still works! My computer desk, which at one time I complained that we got ripped off on, kept everything else underneath from burning and because it has a shelf up above it pretty much kept the fire contained.

Did I mention I had forgotten to blow out a candle burning on my desk? How many times have I heard my stepfather bitch about candles? I always laughed him off. Now I look at the damage on my desk and realize how lucky I was. Everyone is safe, no one was hurt, it could have been a hell of a lot worse than it was. My stepsister came downstairs (our house is a duplex, she lives upstairs) freaking out. I don't blame her. In my panic I completely forgot that smoke rises. Her house filled with smoke as well and the worst part? She has been telling my stepdad that she needs smoke alarms and she doesn't have any! As you can probably imagine she was slightly upset. I don't blame her.

Maybe 15 minutes passed after the fire is out and my mom calls. She of course already knows about it. Her concern? That my stepfather was going to be upset. Did I mention he hates candles? I understand what she was saying but give me a F***ing break! I am just so thankful that my kids are safe and no one was hurt that at this point I don't give a shit what he says. Does she think that I don't already feel like shit over this? She asked me what I was going to tell him? Give me a break! What should I tell him? That my computer just spontaneously combusted? Sorry for the sarcasm here but I am slightly stressed.

Through all of this Marshall stood calm. I'm glad one of us was. Considering that he once had a house burn completely to the ground because of his exgirlfriends kids playing with matches I think he took it quite well. He keeps calling me from work to see if I am ok. He keeps telling me that this happened for a reason and that because of it we will always be more careful that could/would prevent a bigger tragedy in the future. He keeps telling me that the Gods were looking out for us. For that I am thankful.

I took a picture of my computer but in the chaos my printer which I use to download my digital pics got disconnected. Once I get it up and running I will post a before and after photo of my poor desk. No damage other than melting plastic to my computer monitor. Isn't that amazing? I am just in complete shock! lol Did I say that already? Even the walls aren't damaged other than the mess made by the extinguisher. You know something? Until Marshall moved in I have NEVER had a fire extinguisher in my house! I am telling you right now....if you don't have one in your house GET ONE!!!

And of course.... don't forget to blow out your candles.

Okay, now I think I am going to go have a nervous breakdown!

Strawberry Shortcake

Holly Hobby

Captain Kangaroo

Fraggle Rock

Monchichi

Nostalgia at it's best!

I had something to post....something trivial and I have no clue now what it was about.
I signed on to Blogger and found this.....



I did not know Kaycee. Today was my first visit to her page. Thank you Kaycee for sharing your sunshine with me......I am smiling......and my room is shining brighter than ever. I feel as if I have no right to cry but the tears still seem to come. You have touched my heart and soul. You are an inspiration to so many people and I am in awe of your strength. You truely are a warrior. My thoughts and prayers are with your mom and your family and friends.

The girls came home from school early today. The lights kept going out at school......something about the air conditioner, I don't know exactly why. So the parents tea I was supposed to attend (a thank you from the school to parent volunteers) has been postponed until tomorrow. Anyway, Brittany needs to talk to me ALONE. Whenever she tells her little sister that she needs to go away so that we can talk I feel a slight panic. It's either about boys or female issues. It's not the I have a problem discussing any of those things with her but I am just not ready for my 10 year old to have questions on these issues. Shouldn't she still be playing with dolls or something? The discussion today (we have these discussions a couple of times a week) was periods. Her best friend thinks she is about to have her period ANY DAY NOW. And has resorted to wearing pads to school just to be on the safe side. Brittany is concerned that maybe she should too. I explain to her that she probably doesn't have to worry yet. My mom didn't have her first one until high school and I was one of the last of my friends to get mine. She sighs with relief because she is just not ready. I explain to her what she should do just in case she should get it at school. I always remember my poor friend Patty who was the first of the girls to get her period. She was in 4th grade and went to the teacher and told her that she was bleeding. The teacher announced in front of the entire class that she was having her period. She was teased horribly by the boys all though elementary school. I told Brittany if she should start at school to go straight to the nurse and have the nurse call me in case she needs a change of clothes. I have this fear that I won't be there for her first period. I started mine over a summer vacation and I was at my grandmother's house. It was scary and all I can remember was my grandmother asking my aunt very loudly...."Does she know how to clean herself?" Good grief.......I spent that entire week freaking out that I was doing something wrong but afraid to ask for fear that someone might come in the bathroom to show me how. So now I worry that Brittany will have her first period while she is in California visiting her dad for the summer. I know that she will be prepared....she has asked me enough questions, but I really hope that I am there so that I can take her out to lunch and we can have a "woman to woman" talk. I know that whenever it happens she will be ready for it.....let's just hope that I am!

I couldn't sleep last night. It is starting to get hot and I am already wishing for snow. I think I really should be living in Alaska. I can't sleep in hot weather. I made Marshall switch places with me in bed last night because his side is closer to the window. I spent half the night feeling like I was suffocating. And I am going to go to California in the middle of July? I must be insane!! But yes we are going. We are driving cross country with three kids to go and visit my dad for two weeks. I really must be insane! lol

I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day! One guess what I spent my day doing? Yup....ended up going to my mom's house to do yard work. lol I guess that Mom's Day guilt still works no matter how old you are. At least it does on me. Marshall was a good sport about it and he in fact did most of the work along with my stepfather. There were many bushes that needed to get pulled so he took the bobcat over and had fun playing. My sister and I made the food for the barbeque and all in all it was a wonderful day. The kids surprised me with breakfast in bed...coffee and blueberry muffins. This mom's day stuff is so much more fun now that Brittany can bake. lol They bought me wonderful gifts thanks to Marshall and my mom taking them shopping and best of all every time they started to fight I could tell them they had to stop because it was Mother's Day. lol..... hmmm...... I blogged before about Mother's day being a conspiracy.... I think I am now part of it. I feel a slight (notice the word slight) twinge of guilt over using the mom's day ploy to my benefit but since it has been around for as long as there have been Hallmark cards and bouquets of flowers who I am to break with tradition?

Marshall took the ATM card with him today. I need to go shopping and don't have any cash. He wants me to go to his job site and pick it up. I said no. Why? I have this thing against spouses going to thier sig. other's place of work. I think it comes from working with Marshall and before we were dating having to deal with his girlfriend at the time visiting. She was (is) such a bitch and it was so annoying to have to see her walk in, she was always making a scene and she completely hated me. lol..... I don't know why? *innocent look* It wasn't just her, maybe it was because I was the only woman working there I was territorial about "my guys" but everytime a wife/girlfriend would walk in they would get on my nerves.

The other reason I feel this way is when I was working I hated when other's I was dating would just stop in, it is annoying as hell. To me work is a private place, a place that should not get mixed up with home life. And the phone calls...damn I hated the phone calls...you shouldn't call your spouse at work unless a)someone has died b)someone is about to die or c)you want to die. The people who answer the phones at your spouses place of work do NOT want to take personal messages..... I'm sorry but I really don't care that your cat is sick. They also do NOT want to talk to your children who are home alone, or listen to you bitching that they are late, or hear any other detail of your mundane life. When you pick up the phone and hit the speed-dial button stop and think. Is this an emergency? If not.....HANG UP! Okay, so that's my public service announcement for the day. All of you husbands/wifes/boyfriends/girlfriends who have co-workers wanting to shoot you because your sig. other is annoying as hell can forward this message to them (the annoying spouse) and then you can send me a thank you note. hehe

So anyway, I am going to go into town and meet Marshall when he is done with work. After shopping we are going to come home, grill steaks and watch a movie. Oh yeah.....and take our phone off the hook! :-) In case I don't get by here tomorrow.......I'd like to wish you all a VERY HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

blogger is still not working......at least it is saving my posts so that when it is finally up and running there will be lots to read.

We had a wonderful night. We went here to eat and because they were so packed we ended up eating outside on the terrace. The kids had a lot of fun and I enjoyed two of their huge, yummy margarita's. We went shopping and then took the kids out to Dairy Queen. Then we came home and I realized.......shit.... I forgot about Mother's Day. I mean, no I didn't forget but I did forget to buy something for my mom. I bought her something from the kids already but nothing from me so I guess I'd better go shopping again. My mom wants us to go to her house for mother's day and do her yard work and plant flowers. I feel like a horrible daughter but I don't want to. Isn't this supposed to be my mother's day too? Is it selfish of me to not want to spend my mother's day working on her yard when my own yard looks like crap? I told my sister how I felt about it and she told my mom so when my mom called today she sounded mad. Am I just being paranoid? It's hard to say. I just can always sense when she is mad at me. I know I am going to feel guilty but I really don't feel like spending my mother's day at her house. I need time for my own little family. I want to just pack us all up in the car and drive to the lakes and have a picnic. I know that if I do go to her house tomorrow when I really don't want to I will be a total bitch and piss her off. Why is it sometimes so hard to get along with her? I mean, I love her more than anything but as I get older I sometimes feel as if she is too demanding. Or is it that I am just getting to be more of a bitch? Or is it that I am just so much like her we are clashing? I don't know. I know her mom drives her nuts and yet she doesn't understand that the traits in her mom that annoys her have passed on to her and are annoying me. Why don't I just talk to her about it? Good question. Probably because she will get mad and I will get mad and then I will have to apologize and it's just too much of a headache. I have a headache just thinking about it. So what do you think? Should I be a good daughter and go work in her yard for mom's day or should I do what I want to do and take her out to brunch and then spend the rest of the day with my family? Better yet, how about I crawl into bed and you can wake me when mom's day is over. I hate holidays sometimes. Mother's day is just an overrated holiday invented by card companies and mom's who want to make you feel guilty for being a horrible, ungrateful son/daughter.

I finally get around to updating my blog and blogger goes down. Hopefully this will go through finally...

Feeling much better today. Marshall will be home early today (YEAH) and we are going to go out to dinner. I am just so excited to have him home for most of the evening. I spent last night pouting because he was home late again.....I know it's not his fault but damn it I have been patient all week, I think I am entitled to a little whining! lol We are supposed to go out with Nick and Chris tomorrow night, Chris is graduating tomorrow. I'm not sure if we will be able to make it though because of course Marshall has to work.

I am feeling really blah today. Marshall has been working late every day this week. I am used to having his complete attention every evening and for the last week he has came home late, ate, and fell asleep. I think he might have kissed me once or twice but I am starting to feel neglected! lol I need an adult conversation.......anything other than Anthony's constant "why's"!! It's not like he is the only person I can talk to....but he is the only person I want to talk to. Besides, I have been stuck cooking dinner every night this week and for those of you who know me you know how scary that can be! I filled the house with smoke yesterday and I was only boiling water! I'm not joking! It is very sad, poor Anthony was running around waving his hands in front of his face. Thankfully he should be back to normal hours next week and then he better be prepared to listen to me whining! I don't like feeling neglected.......I don't like cooking........and damn it I don't like him being gone so much! Sheesh......I sound pathetic! lol It's his fault. He's the one who spoiled me so now he'd better just put up with me. hehe

Did you know that Wite Out was almost impossible to get off of skin? Anthony decided to try to become invisible. He painted himself from head to toe. He must have taken the advertising to heart: "Wite-Out® brand correction fluid is your choice when you have large areas to be corrected." His legs, arms and chest are covered with huge white blotches. I gave him a bath and no amount of scrubbing would get it off. The scary part is I can't find the bottle he used! I know it's somewhere in my house and I know when I find it I will find walls, carpet, furniture, and/or toys covered in it as well.

Marshall handed me the newspaper yesterday. It was the page of wedding announcements. I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to be looking for until I saw an announcement with his last name in it. His son is getting married. His son has refused to talk to him since Marshall's ex wife left him. I have never met his children and probably never will, they have no desire to have any contact with their dad or anyone in his family thanks to vicious lies told to them by their mom.

I must be honest and say that when we first met I was slightly wary of stories told to me by Marshall regarding his exwife. I mean, what person is ever completely honest when it comes to their ex? Stories told are always the ones that make the ex out to be the bad guy not the other way around. It wasn't until talking to Marshall's parents and sisters that I was able to see the whole picture about what kind of person his ex wife is.

As to what really happened between Marshall and his ex wife, I have no desire to know. But what I do know is that he is an incredible dad to Anthony and a wonderful step dad to my daughters and I feel so guilty because his kids will probably never see that side to him. All they see is the evil man their mother painted for them. Who does that to their kids? No matter how horrible a man is as a husband you don't make your kids pay for that by filling them with hate for their father. My own dad was not so good as a husband to my mom, he was at times physically abusive, but NEVER did she fill us with hate towards him not even during their ugly, bitter divorce. I know Marshall, I know what kind of person he is and I know how much it hurts him to not be a part of his kids life. How much it hurt him to look at that wedding announcement and see his son's picture, grown, handsome and to know that he will probably never be a part of his son's life.

"We should go," he jokingly said
"How about we send some money?" I answered
"Yeah, we will do that," he answered as he set the paper down and walked away.

I wish I could talk to his kids, I wish I could tell them what a wonderful person their father is. But they would hate me. I'm not much older than they are, their own mother could be my mother. So I sit here feeling guilty because their father is now the father to my son. Maybe someday they will realize that not all of the truths they believe are factual, maybe someday they will think of their dad not with hate but with curiosity and contact him, maybe someday they will see that he is a person who loves them.

I got my candles yesterday!!!! I was so excited, I have the coffee one on my desk right now but I want to find some new candle holders for the other ones. Anthony thought they smelled so good he wanted to take a bite of one! lol Luckily I got them away in time.

I am so depressed!! I am a flippin' MINI VAN! Who in the hell is a mini van? Why couldn't I have been something cool like a pickup truck or a convertable? Oh well........at least I'm not a station wagon.

Next month (June) my mom's sister is going to visit us. I am very much looking forward to her visit because I haven't seen her in many years. My aunt is bringing her girlfriend. Yes, my aunt is a lesbian. I have no problem with this, I am just happy that she is happy. My dilema? My daughters have not met her and I'm not too sure if I should explain it to them or just see if they notice and ask about it? My children are aware that some people love people of the same sex in a way other than friendship (lol...wow...that was hard to word) hey they watch "Will and Grace" they are familiar with the term gay and because I don't find it to be a big deal neither do they. Should I just not say anthing and see if they ask? Or should I just bring it out in the open so that if they do see affection between my aunt and her girlfriend they don't feel confused by it? I know that I have plenty of time to prepare for this but the girls will be leaving to visit their dad soon and they will come home after my aunt is already here. Any comments/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Water. I really do love it.....just not when it is covering my living room! We live in the basement half of a house that has been converted into a duplex. Yesterday morning we woke up with water in the kitchen and livingroom because something jammed up the sump pump. What something you ask? Potatos! Marshall pulled out half of a bag of potatos that had been floating around the sump pump just waiting to get stuck so that we could once again wake up to water. A certain daughter of mine decided that it was too much trouble to put the potatos away properly so she just threw them into the cupboard which led to half of the bag rolling off of the shelf into the sump pump. Don't ask.....our apartment was planned and constructed by idiots.

We decided to go into town and get some cleaning supplies so that we could get everything clean and we sort of took our time. Neither one of us was looking forward to coming back and cleaning up water once again. Yes this has happened before......too many times to count. Not just because of the sump pump but for numerous reasons that are all due to us living in a basement. When we finally came home it was only to find more water, this time in the bathroom. Did I mention that it was raining all day? So the entire night was spent cleaning up floors and throwing away icky soggy stuff. Today is being spent washing various clothes, rugs, towels that had been left on the floor. I just love spring time in North Dakota. :-P

Talk about terrified. Last night I watched as my two sweet, dainty daughters beat the hell out of a watermelon! Well, the watermelon was a piñata so I know they were supposed to beat it but never in my life have I seen such a change over them! Brittany is usually so sweet and quiet and she got that stick in her hand and she scared the hell out of me! She is standing there with her cute little tank top that says "Angel" across the front and she swings the stick with a determined look and "CRACK" right across the middle of it. It really was very scary. Next it was Danielle's turn in her bright yellow t-shirt that fittingly says, "90% Angel" and again I am shocked at how as soon as she gets the stick in her hand her whole persona changes she goes from a sweet angel to an avenging angel that is going to beat the hell out of a watermelon! lol I think Anthony must has been just as scared as I was because he whacked it a few times but for the most part he hid. Of course he was the first one out there when the candy finally fell out. And then I watched as my children attacked each other over handfulls of candy! Aaahhhh.......the traditions of Cinco de Mayo! Hope you all had a wonderful and safe day.

Okay, I don't usually post links just because but I can't seem to concentrate on any one thing today. Even though I have a zillion things to do, I am just aimlessly wandering. It wasn't for nothing though....look at all the cool stuff I found. lol

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Mandatory Reading: Summer Shoe Pledge
Thanks Betty :-)

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They seriously need one of these in North Dakota....do you know how far I would have to go to get one?!

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Secretly eating boogers?

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Good grief! This takes the "I don't have anything to wear" complaint to a whole new level!

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The Twelfth Sign.....



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Stay tuned for more.....