Marshall took the ATM card with him today. I need to go shopping and don't have any cash. He wants me to go to his job site and pick it up. I said no. Why? I have this thing against spouses going to thier sig. other's place of work. I think it comes from working with Marshall and before we were dating having to deal with his girlfriend at the time visiting. She was (is) such a bitch and it was so annoying to have to see her walk in, she was always making a scene and she completely hated me. lol..... I don't know why? *innocent look* It wasn't just her, maybe it was because I was the only woman working there I was territorial about "my guys" but everytime a wife/girlfriend would walk in they would get on my nerves.

The other reason I feel this way is when I was working I hated when other's I was dating would just stop in, it is annoying as hell. To me work is a private place, a place that should not get mixed up with home life. And the phone calls...damn I hated the phone calls...you shouldn't call your spouse at work unless a)someone has died b)someone is about to die or c)you want to die. The people who answer the phones at your spouses place of work do NOT want to take personal messages..... I'm sorry but I really don't care that your cat is sick. They also do NOT want to talk to your children who are home alone, or listen to you bitching that they are late, or hear any other detail of your mundane life. When you pick up the phone and hit the speed-dial button stop and think. Is this an emergency? If not.....HANG UP! Okay, so that's my public service announcement for the day. All of you husbands/wifes/boyfriends/girlfriends who have co-workers wanting to shoot you because your sig. other is annoying as hell can forward this message to them (the annoying spouse) and then you can send me a thank you note. hehe

So anyway, I am going to go into town and meet Marshall when he is done with work. After shopping we are going to come home, grill steaks and watch a movie. Oh yeah.....and take our phone off the hook! :-) In case I don't get by here tomorrow.......I'd like to wish you all a VERY HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

blogger is still not working......at least it is saving my posts so that when it is finally up and running there will be lots to read.

We had a wonderful night. We went here to eat and because they were so packed we ended up eating outside on the terrace. The kids had a lot of fun and I enjoyed two of their huge, yummy margarita's. We went shopping and then took the kids out to Dairy Queen. Then we came home and I realized.......shit.... I forgot about Mother's Day. I mean, no I didn't forget but I did forget to buy something for my mom. I bought her something from the kids already but nothing from me so I guess I'd better go shopping again. My mom wants us to go to her house for mother's day and do her yard work and plant flowers. I feel like a horrible daughter but I don't want to. Isn't this supposed to be my mother's day too? Is it selfish of me to not want to spend my mother's day working on her yard when my own yard looks like crap? I told my sister how I felt about it and she told my mom so when my mom called today she sounded mad. Am I just being paranoid? It's hard to say. I just can always sense when she is mad at me. I know I am going to feel guilty but I really don't feel like spending my mother's day at her house. I need time for my own little family. I want to just pack us all up in the car and drive to the lakes and have a picnic. I know that if I do go to her house tomorrow when I really don't want to I will be a total bitch and piss her off. Why is it sometimes so hard to get along with her? I mean, I love her more than anything but as I get older I sometimes feel as if she is too demanding. Or is it that I am just getting to be more of a bitch? Or is it that I am just so much like her we are clashing? I don't know. I know her mom drives her nuts and yet she doesn't understand that the traits in her mom that annoys her have passed on to her and are annoying me. Why don't I just talk to her about it? Good question. Probably because she will get mad and I will get mad and then I will have to apologize and it's just too much of a headache. I have a headache just thinking about it. So what do you think? Should I be a good daughter and go work in her yard for mom's day or should I do what I want to do and take her out to brunch and then spend the rest of the day with my family? Better yet, how about I crawl into bed and you can wake me when mom's day is over. I hate holidays sometimes. Mother's day is just an overrated holiday invented by card companies and mom's who want to make you feel guilty for being a horrible, ungrateful son/daughter.

I finally get around to updating my blog and blogger goes down. Hopefully this will go through finally...

Feeling much better today. Marshall will be home early today (YEAH) and we are going to go out to dinner. I am just so excited to have him home for most of the evening. I spent last night pouting because he was home late again.....I know it's not his fault but damn it I have been patient all week, I think I am entitled to a little whining! lol We are supposed to go out with Nick and Chris tomorrow night, Chris is graduating tomorrow. I'm not sure if we will be able to make it though because of course Marshall has to work.

I am feeling really blah today. Marshall has been working late every day this week. I am used to having his complete attention every evening and for the last week he has came home late, ate, and fell asleep. I think he might have kissed me once or twice but I am starting to feel neglected! lol I need an adult conversation.......anything other than Anthony's constant "why's"!! It's not like he is the only person I can talk to....but he is the only person I want to talk to. Besides, I have been stuck cooking dinner every night this week and for those of you who know me you know how scary that can be! I filled the house with smoke yesterday and I was only boiling water! I'm not joking! It is very sad, poor Anthony was running around waving his hands in front of his face. Thankfully he should be back to normal hours next week and then he better be prepared to listen to me whining! I don't like feeling neglected.......I don't like cooking........and damn it I don't like him being gone so much! Sheesh......I sound pathetic! lol It's his fault. He's the one who spoiled me so now he'd better just put up with me. hehe

Did you know that Wite Out was almost impossible to get off of skin? Anthony decided to try to become invisible. He painted himself from head to toe. He must have taken the advertising to heart: "Wite-Out® brand correction fluid is your choice when you have large areas to be corrected." His legs, arms and chest are covered with huge white blotches. I gave him a bath and no amount of scrubbing would get it off. The scary part is I can't find the bottle he used! I know it's somewhere in my house and I know when I find it I will find walls, carpet, furniture, and/or toys covered in it as well.

Marshall handed me the newspaper yesterday. It was the page of wedding announcements. I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to be looking for until I saw an announcement with his last name in it. His son is getting married. His son has refused to talk to him since Marshall's ex wife left him. I have never met his children and probably never will, they have no desire to have any contact with their dad or anyone in his family thanks to vicious lies told to them by their mom.

I must be honest and say that when we first met I was slightly wary of stories told to me by Marshall regarding his exwife. I mean, what person is ever completely honest when it comes to their ex? Stories told are always the ones that make the ex out to be the bad guy not the other way around. It wasn't until talking to Marshall's parents and sisters that I was able to see the whole picture about what kind of person his ex wife is.

As to what really happened between Marshall and his ex wife, I have no desire to know. But what I do know is that he is an incredible dad to Anthony and a wonderful step dad to my daughters and I feel so guilty because his kids will probably never see that side to him. All they see is the evil man their mother painted for them. Who does that to their kids? No matter how horrible a man is as a husband you don't make your kids pay for that by filling them with hate for their father. My own dad was not so good as a husband to my mom, he was at times physically abusive, but NEVER did she fill us with hate towards him not even during their ugly, bitter divorce. I know Marshall, I know what kind of person he is and I know how much it hurts him to not be a part of his kids life. How much it hurt him to look at that wedding announcement and see his son's picture, grown, handsome and to know that he will probably never be a part of his son's life.

"We should go," he jokingly said
"How about we send some money?" I answered
"Yeah, we will do that," he answered as he set the paper down and walked away.

I wish I could talk to his kids, I wish I could tell them what a wonderful person their father is. But they would hate me. I'm not much older than they are, their own mother could be my mother. So I sit here feeling guilty because their father is now the father to my son. Maybe someday they will realize that not all of the truths they believe are factual, maybe someday they will think of their dad not with hate but with curiosity and contact him, maybe someday they will see that he is a person who loves them.

I got my candles yesterday!!!! I was so excited, I have the coffee one on my desk right now but I want to find some new candle holders for the other ones. Anthony thought they smelled so good he wanted to take a bite of one! lol Luckily I got them away in time.

I am so depressed!! I am a flippin' MINI VAN! Who in the hell is a mini van? Why couldn't I have been something cool like a pickup truck or a convertable? Oh well........at least I'm not a station wagon.

Next month (June) my mom's sister is going to visit us. I am very much looking forward to her visit because I haven't seen her in many years. My aunt is bringing her girlfriend. Yes, my aunt is a lesbian. I have no problem with this, I am just happy that she is happy. My dilema? My daughters have not met her and I'm not too sure if I should explain it to them or just see if they notice and ask about it? My children are aware that some people love people of the same sex in a way other than friendship (lol...wow...that was hard to word) hey they watch "Will and Grace" they are familiar with the term gay and because I don't find it to be a big deal neither do they. Should I just not say anthing and see if they ask? Or should I just bring it out in the open so that if they do see affection between my aunt and her girlfriend they don't feel confused by it? I know that I have plenty of time to prepare for this but the girls will be leaving to visit their dad soon and they will come home after my aunt is already here. Any comments/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Water. I really do love it.....just not when it is covering my living room! We live in the basement half of a house that has been converted into a duplex. Yesterday morning we woke up with water in the kitchen and livingroom because something jammed up the sump pump. What something you ask? Potatos! Marshall pulled out half of a bag of potatos that had been floating around the sump pump just waiting to get stuck so that we could once again wake up to water. A certain daughter of mine decided that it was too much trouble to put the potatos away properly so she just threw them into the cupboard which led to half of the bag rolling off of the shelf into the sump pump. Don't ask.....our apartment was planned and constructed by idiots.

We decided to go into town and get some cleaning supplies so that we could get everything clean and we sort of took our time. Neither one of us was looking forward to coming back and cleaning up water once again. Yes this has happened before......too many times to count. Not just because of the sump pump but for numerous reasons that are all due to us living in a basement. When we finally came home it was only to find more water, this time in the bathroom. Did I mention that it was raining all day? So the entire night was spent cleaning up floors and throwing away icky soggy stuff. Today is being spent washing various clothes, rugs, towels that had been left on the floor. I just love spring time in North Dakota. :-P

Talk about terrified. Last night I watched as my two sweet, dainty daughters beat the hell out of a watermelon! Well, the watermelon was a piñata so I know they were supposed to beat it but never in my life have I seen such a change over them! Brittany is usually so sweet and quiet and she got that stick in her hand and she scared the hell out of me! She is standing there with her cute little tank top that says "Angel" across the front and she swings the stick with a determined look and "CRACK" right across the middle of it. It really was very scary. Next it was Danielle's turn in her bright yellow t-shirt that fittingly says, "90% Angel" and again I am shocked at how as soon as she gets the stick in her hand her whole persona changes she goes from a sweet angel to an avenging angel that is going to beat the hell out of a watermelon! lol I think Anthony must has been just as scared as I was because he whacked it a few times but for the most part he hid. Of course he was the first one out there when the candy finally fell out. And then I watched as my children attacked each other over handfulls of candy! Aaahhhh.......the traditions of Cinco de Mayo! Hope you all had a wonderful and safe day.

Okay, I don't usually post links just because but I can't seem to concentrate on any one thing today. Even though I have a zillion things to do, I am just aimlessly wandering. It wasn't for nothing though....look at all the cool stuff I found. lol

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Mandatory Reading: Summer Shoe Pledge
Thanks Betty :-)

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They seriously need one of these in North Dakota....do you know how far I would have to go to get one?!

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Secretly eating boogers?

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Good grief! This takes the "I don't have anything to wear" complaint to a whole new level!

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The Twelfth Sign.....



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Stay tuned for more.....

Have you ever been in a situation where your child says something that makes you want to strangle them? lol....hey if you're a mom of course they have and if they haven't they probably can't talk yet. hehe Here is what happened:

The day before yesterday my stepsister asked me to come upstairs and talk to her. She has been majorly stressed. She is the main source of income for her family, she is a full time college student (straight A's, it's very disgusting lol), she also runs full time (with her husband) my mom and stepdad's limousine company. To say that she is busy is an understatement. She was very upset because she feels like everything is getting juggled and she isn't spending enough time with her kids. It is final's week so I understand the stress. She is not a bad mother but of course every mom at one time or another feels like they are a bad mother, or at least I do. So I reassure her the best I can but I know it's still bothering her.

Okay, so yesterday was Danielle and Brittany's Girl Scout ceremony for the girls that were bridging. Jenny's daughter Tori is also in their troop. Her and Danielle are the same age and usually get along very well. The girls are lining up practicing for the ceremony and I am standing behind them looking at the badges, pins etc. to give out. Anyway, I hear Danielle say ".....she doesn't care about you." I didn't catch the first part but I heard Tori respond, "Yes she does, she is just busy with work." I knew instantly what Danielle had said. I grabbed her hand and dragged her in the corner and asked her to repeat what she said to me. She told me that she had told Tori that Jenny wasn't there because she doesn't care about Tori. I was shocked that she would say that and intentionally hurt her cousin that way. She was instantly sorry but of course that doesn't change what she said. She went back and hugged Tori and apologized and I gave Tori a hug and told her not to listen to Danielle.

When we got home I had to tell Jenny what Danielle had said. In light of what we had talked about the night before I knew this would really upset her, which it did. Not at Danielle but at herself because of course it just made her feel even more guilty. I felt so horrible. I mean, what could I say? My daughter is a brat! Jenny was very understanding but I still feel so bad. I made Danielle apologize to Jenny too. I don't know what she said because I wasn't there but Danielle came home and I could tell she had been crying, she felt really bad. She gave me a hug and apologized to me too. She asked me if we could take Tori out to eat with us because we were on our way out so I of course said yes. I don't know if taco's and ice cream will fix it but everyone seemed happy. lol

Yes..... I have finally added comments. Feel free to add yours - pleeeeeeaaaaaaazzzzzzzeeeeee - It's getting lonely in here! lol

I can't believe the week is almost over! It has been so crazy around here and I just can't seem to get into the swing of things. It's like I'm watching things from afar and I know I should be doing/saying/whatever more but I just can't seem to make myself do it. At the beginning of the school year I was helping out all the time at school and yesterday I almost forgot to make treats for the girls gardening class and now as I was typing this I thought....... oh shit! The girls have their Girl Scout bridging ceremony tonight and I completely forgot about it even though I was just talking about it last night to Jenny! Sheesh.....I'm the freaking co-leader you think I would remember that! I don't know what it is...... I just need a major break. Jorge called yesterday and he is going to pick up the girls on June 2nd and they will be back from California on July 2nd. I always hate to see them go but if I am perfectly honest I also look forward to it. I always feel like a horrible mom when I say that but it's true. By the time summer comes around I really need a break and I know they need a break from me too. It is so nice because I miss them when they are gone and I am always looking forward to them coming home. I usually fix up their rooms for them buy new posters, bedding, paint whatever I have time/money to do. They look forward to seeing what I have done to their rooms and I have fun doing it for them. So hopefully I will be able to get myself together during that month they are gone.........now I just need to get rid of Anthony! hehe Before I know it he will be old enough to ship off to visit my dad and then Marshall and I can be "single" folks.....for a short time anyway.

More headaches with apartment hunting! I am thinking that we might just stay put..... I am so sick of this crap.

OMG.......... Look at what my stepsister Jenny won! lol
The store across the street had a drawing for this and I never did enter it because I was afraid I might win lol so imagine my surprise when Marshall came home from buying me some coffee to tell me that Jenny had won. She thinks she might give it away as a prize for my neice Tori's birthday...... I told her that sounded good as long as she fixes it so that my kids do NOT win!

The girls had their spring concert on Tuesday. Brittany had a solo and she was incredible!! I have no idea where she gets her voice from because I can't sing a note. Anthony even tells me to be quiet when he hears me singing! lol Danielle was also in the concert and she was so cute up there on that huge stage. For part of the performance the younger kids had to sit still on the bleachers as the older children performed. As you can imagine it can be awfully hard for 30-1st graders to sit still for any length of time. I looked at Danielle and was surprised to see her "I am going to hurt some one" look on her face. It didn't take long to figure out the cause. lol She was sitting next to this little boy named William. He was so cute with a suit jacket and a bright red tie. He was also very absorbed in the music that the older kids were singing and he was swinging his hands in rhythm.......everytime he moved his hands he touched Danielle's shoulder or hair. He wasn't hurting her but she kept moving over away from him as far as she could which of course didn't keep him from touching her long hair. lol I was seriously worried that she was going to punch him she looked so mad! hehe Thankfully some of my "don't hit" lectures got through (I just wish they would regarding her big sister lol) because she didn't hit him. Although I did find out when I asked her about it later that she "accidentally" stepped on his foot. After the concert we went out to eat to treat the kids to ice cream and guess who was there? lol William and his family. He made his mom bring him over to our table so he could say hi to Danielle. It was so cute. hehe Danielle did admit on the way home that William was handsome in his suit........but she said "Don't let it fool you mom.......he is still a pest"